Dear 16 year old Aud,
I haven’t thought about you for years. I’ve always been a live-in-the-moment kind of person and really, what’s changed between the both of us? But I read Jolene and Fatty‘s blog posts and I thought you deserved a heads up on to what’s coming at you in the next 10 years, because the only thing that stays constant throughout is the Oois (best family in the world)
We’re both not shy to admit it – you’re a happy geek wtf. You have a big group of girl friends who you do everything with – you go to recess together, watch movies together, have study groups with. You know you’re ugly but that’s ok wtf. Everyone has a boyfriend but you, and even though you really want one, (Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield make it look so cool) that’s ok too. You don’t know what’s going to happen to you but you’re ok.
Well what’s going to happen to you next year is you’ll get your first boyfriend even though you’re still ugly. He’s one of the popular kids in school but you think he looks kind of goofy. You are awesome friends though and you make each other laugh so much you get wheezing fits. And that’s how it starts.
He likes your personality and wit but he hates how you make him look – uncool. He gets you to put on skirts and tank tops instead of your usual tshirt and jeans. He hates it when you get better grades than him for studying less. You feel weird but you can’t lose your boyfriend! What if nobody else likes you in the future! Later you’ll slap yourself for it but you give up an exchange program to Japan just so you can go to prom with him.
Ironically, it’s not him who changes you to like putting on pretty clothes and makeup – it’s the Japanese girls you meet when your family takes part in hosting Japanese high school students. You don’t look as nerdy anymore but you guys still break up on the first day of college because he’s afraid to ruin his reputation with you around WTF.
It’s ok though because in college you finally capitalize on being cute and 日本ポイ and you will have no problem making friends or meeting guys. You go into a pre-university course that’s headed to some kind of biotech degree in Australia but at the last minute, Fat Her makes you apply to American colleges.
You get accepted… to a women’s college. Never thought you’d ever go to a girl’s school did you? But they’re giving you financial aid (without which you would never be able to study in the States) so you strike off to the other side of the world, while all your friends head to Australia or England. Your parents throw a surprise farewell party for you and three carloads of friends will rush with you to the airport to send you off.
You happily set off, but it doesn’t hit you until the first night your parents leave you in your dorm room alone. You burst into tears the minute you close the door.
But that’s ok because the next day, you will meet a very important person. You will be on your way to the stables with Mai, a Japanese girl whose parents live in Malaysia, when both of you will see a girl called Angela standing in front of the campus center with a suitcase and a pink Diesel bag you immediately wish you had.
You will hate her on first sight because you think her anime sounding voice is fake but she will stick to you like glue because she saw your bubble socks and has recognized that you’re kindred spirits. Just go along with it because for at least the next ten years, she will turn out to be your best friend and soulmate – the person who thinks exactly like you and will always understand whatever you tell her or whatever numbskill situations you put her through.
Mount Holyoke is a cold bitch and by sophomore year, you and Angela will be desperate to get out of there. You both apply to spend junior year in Kyoto, Japan and secretly you think that if Angela gets in and you don’t you’ll take a year’s leave of absence WTF. You both get in though and you spend what you both still call the funnest year of your lives there.
Then you come back to Massachusetts for your senior year. Don’t worry it won’t be the shittily boring year it was when you were a sophomore! Mild and Jeannie have both gotten cars in your absence and you spend a lot of the year exploring New England! And Miami! And Vancouver with Angela! You also spend a lot of weekends in Boston clubbing wtf. Oh and watch out for this thing called Facebook. It’s like Friendster and when it first comes out, only elite colleges in the US will have it (including Mount Holyoke ahem) and you won’t like it at first cos nobody else is on it. But the world will catch up.
Anyway you put your political views as ‘apathetic’ on Facebook during your freshman year, which is no surprise cos the only politician you know right now is Mahathir. And maybe Bill Gates wtf. But in your senior year you’ll have caught a case of Political Awareness and you’ll end up writing your honors thesis (yes! you write a thesis!) on racist policies wtf. Oh yea forgot to mention that you totally abandon your science background and graduate with a Bachelor of Arts. But you saw that coming didn’t you?
Right now all your friends are so sure they’ll go into science fields, and out loud you say you will too but secretly you’re not sure. When you graduate, you’re still not sure what you’re going to do. FYL. You narrow it down to three fields though – writing, research… and advertising. Not gonna spoil it for you though, you’ll have to grow up to find out.
But you should know that you nearly became an English teacher in a Japanese international school in KL. Luckily you didn’t though because the one sixth grade class you teach – the girls all jumped over you asking if you had a boyfriend and where you bought your clothes, while the boys stayed silent and stared at you, and nobody listened to a thing you said in English. It wouldn’t have worked out.
You also quit the first job you took after the first day WTF. But don’t worry I think you do get less flaky the older you get wtf.
Oh you wanted to talk about boys? Growing up, you never really thought about marriage or weddings so didn’t think it would interest you wtf. Well, three years after the first boyfriend breaks up with you, you finally forgive him wtf and become friends for real. He regrets breaking up with you (success WTF) but you already have a new serious boyfriend. Unfortunately he’s not too serious about you and cheats and lies to you wtf.
But better things are on their way! In ten years time, you will be dating a boy very unlike anyone you’ve ever fallen for. He spends his time playing Starcraft (-_-) and will need your help in buying clothes. He’ll be pigheaded sometimes but he’ll be way smarter than you (and most other guys you know). He’ll also be a big goof and will make you feel the most secure and loved than you ever have. Not sure what happens to him though you better ask 36 year old Aud.
Oh and you will be a broke ass for the next ten years.
After the first year of college, you stop taking a lot of allowance from your parents yay you! You end up doing all kinds of part time jobs to make money.
Promoter girl. Flyer distributor. Call center operator. English teacher at a tuition center in Japan. Japanese tutor back at Mount Holyoke. Buffet setter and dishwasher at the campus Office for Religion. Garbage collector (true story).
You even contemplate being a gardener (declined cos scared you get dark), working in the mail office (cannot cos need to carry up to 15kg packages) and being a nude model WTF (too shy).
And now blogger nyehehe who would have thought. Oh yea you start blogging too. Don’t ask me what’s a blog you’ll find out in two years.
Unfortunately you’re still broke now even though you have a proper white collar job because you’ll be paying out of your ass for your student loan. But you’re still a happy geek.
So that’s where you’ll be in ten years. Have fun and see you soon! Oh and start praying that time stops now because I’d really like to stop aging, thanks.
Love, 26 year old Aud.
So if you knew me, you’d know that my weakness has always been and will always be…
Shoes.
*fan girl shriek
I saw this gorgeous pair of leopard print pumps (and I love leopard print!) on an online blog shop *slobber
Totally disregarding rules that you should never buy shoes online, I bought the shoes online wtf.
When I got them I put them on for size and found they fit perfectly!
I happily hustled my new shoes upstairs (instead of keeping them in the shoe cabinet) just so I could gaze at them in the comfort of my own room until I had an occasion to wear them WTF.
And yay there finally came a day to put them on!
Verdict: *tongue blat WTF
(erm dunno what it’s called but it’s when you put your tongue between your lips and blow)
1. Believe it or not I suddenly became 5 feet 3 after putting on these babies WTF. (for those who dunno math, that’s half a foot more than four feet nine) I stood next to Fatty and found I was looking straight at his forehead instead of at his armpit wtf which is my usual height!!!!!!
2. The height of it wasn’t the matter. Even though the heel was so high, there was a platform under the toe which minus-ed out the height difference between heel and toe.
But!!! That same platform will be the death of me (literally). I dunno what the shoemaker was thinking when he constructed this shoe but the front of the platform (marked above as ‘danger’ wtf) was curved WTF.
The whole night I felt like I was walking on curved stilts FTS.
Walking down the slope to Zouk, I really thought I would pok kai there and then, maybe lose a few teeth and can never ever go clubbing in KL again wtf.
I guess it was meant to make walking easier, because if I put my right foot forward, my left foot behind could easily push off on the toe and swing in front. You get it ah?
But cos of the curve if I leaned forward a bit also I’d feel like falling over T_T Which resulted in me sitting down the entire night FTS. Or standing with national service like posture wtf.
For the first time ever, it crossed my mind that something I was wearing could actually cause me injury. Like an overtight corset. Or an old tampon WTF.
But then I look at them again. And for most of the night I sat and admired my shoes.
They made my legs look so long! The leopard print was melting my heart. The red bottoms even though I know are a ripoff of Louboutin even matched my skirt!
And that’s when I knew.
That I’d keep wearing these babies no matter what wtf. (if you’re my mother and you’re reading this I’m only kidding ahahahha)
It is entirely impossibly to resist the cuteness ok impossible!
Ahahahaha just lookit you don’t worry mommy is not going to abandon you just like that!!!!!
Got plenty of ways to safety-fy them I’m sure! Like nail cork on the sole to flatten out the curve wtf.
Or bandage my ankles first when I wear them so even if fall won’t sprain WTF.
How! How! Got what other ideas to save my shoes (and ankles) tell me!!!
Ahem end with nice picture of self. Camwhore #winning (but only cos put on extra pound of makeup aih)
The other day, I got lost in an LRT station.
Cos I haven’t taken an LRT for years!
I stood in the middle of the concourse all lost and confused…
While busy people on their way to work “TSK”-ed me and shot me angry looks and sidled past me in a huff cos I was blocking everyone’s way T__________T
But finally I figured out the correct line to take and then the LRT was a breeze!
Like literally. So fast, smooth, beats traffic jams and best of all more environmentally friendly compared to your stinking car.
Ya I took the LRT to go meet Sloggi (and other bloggers) for a trip to Taman Warisan Negeri Selangor.
Ya that’s all your faces right now I know.
And ya I’m so famous for hating being outdoors that if I were a super hero I’d be called Concrete Woman WTF.
But you know guys, Rosmah is right.
Not about many things. Certainly not about the earthquake in Japan being Earth’s way of fighting human destruction -________-
But in a way she’s right about the Earth taking a beating from us humans. If we continue to massacre our natural resources and the Earth, we’ll destroy it and kill ourselves serve us right.
This uncle (who was our guide around the forest) said something that scared me shitless: “Imagine a world where you have to pay to get into a room to breathe oxygen because oxygen is the world’s most precious commodity”.
Who’s to say that won’t come true next time if we keep disregarding the environment and chopping down all the trees T__________T
So Sloggi last year ran a campaign to spread awareness about caring for the environment called “Love World Love Sloggi.” As part of their ecofriendly efforts, Sloggi’s products are made of a special recyclable fabric made from plastic bottles.
This year, for the2011 Love World campaign, Sloggi has several ranges of lingerie which are made of something called Sensitive® Fabric – a special fabric which resembles natural silk but is manufactured using eco-friendly processes.
And globally Sloggi has partnered the World Land Trust™, a non profit which works to save threatened rainforests in South America. For every 1 meter of Sensitive® Fabric manufactured, Sloggi & World Land Trust™ will be saving one square meter of the rainforest in the Yaboti Biosphere (where a lot of rare plants and animals live but are at risk of extinction)
Some of the Love World ranges…
Fairyland! Fairy type prints are made using only natural dyes and uses less water and energy to produce. It’s also seamless and super comfy cos it’s so light and soft.
Invisible Sense is like your tshirt underwear! It’s 50% thinner than your normal fabric so it’s very light and the underwire is structured so it doesn’t cause any pain or pressure on your ribs when you wear the bra. I tested it it’s really soft!
Then there’s also Ecolife and Everyday Organic Cotton (names quite self explanatory)
For more info on Sloggi products, go here!
Anyway back to Taman Negeri Selangor which is a protected area that conserves natural resources and wildlife.
We iz here!
I look like a Japanese middle schooler with checked shirt and jeans and Converse sneakers -_-
Four of us! Joyce, Cindy, Cheesie and me.
Also got Tziaaa and Daphne but what can I say, birds of the old feather and all.
Locally, Sloggi is working with TrEES (Treat Every Environment Special, a local NGO)to help conserve and protect Taman Warisan Negeri Selangor – including the forest itself, the wildlife and eco-systems.
Sloggi donated RM25,000 of its profits from the Love World collection to TrEES as part of this effort! (that’s Evelyn Foo, brand head for Sloggi, and Christa Hashim from TrEES)
And the dude is Borhanudin of the Forestry Department of Selangor…
…also can pass as Me Gusta my favorite meme at the moment HAHAHAHAHAHA
ME GUSTA!!!!
Does he not look like the Me Gusta Senor above! HAhahaha Me Gusta just means “I like it” in Spanish wtf.
With Pink Stilettos!
Then the organizers asked us to take a hike WTF.
Like literally. We had to take a walk through the forest *dread
This was when my camera battery ran out and I had to resort to my Itouch -_- Special effects from Pudding Camera if you’re curious.
Cindy and Joyce.
We were actually listening to the uncle from above teach us about the forest and the different trees and about the Orang Asli who lived in the forest too.
Foruchizu go to mori.
Guess who’s 72 years old!!!
The tree behind not the uncle wtf. The uncle explained to us how to gauge how old a tree is. On average a tree adds an inch to its diameter so you just count how many inches it is to count its age.
Quite fun! Then if like that I will be 24 years old forever. If I don’t get fat.
Cindy is 22 years old I hate her forever me no gusta wtf.
Wanted to use the measuring tape to see what size Sloggi I need to buy (ahem) but not very appropriate timing.
With Addiction who looks damn cute in this pic!
Shannon.
This tree looks like a coconut tree -_- but in reality it’s huge! And so tall I couldn’t see its top. Like the Faraway Tree 😀
More attempted artsy shots of the forest. But fail cos I was using my Itouch only -_-
Wanted to take the shot above but didn’t realize the camera was facing me when I snapped -_-
Heigh ho heigh ho.
I was terrified of tripping on some wayward branch and falling down the slope we were on T3T
The reason I wore a thick plaid shirt and jeans despite the heat and humidity -_-
Also the reason why I usually hate the outdoors.
I’m the most prone person I know when it comes to mosquitos T____T And this was despite slathering on mosquito repellant ok. I got 5 bites in 30 seconds I swear.
So Cheesie and Cindy come stand next to me so all the mosquitos will bite me FML.
Nemai nemai feed mosquitos = contributing in some way to the rainforest ecosystem.
Forest Ranger Ringo wtf.
Then we got the chance to plant a tree to symbolically give back to the rainforest.
Here’s a nice man helping us put in the sapling *useless
Hello tree!
Audrey Audrey quite contrary how does your garden grow?
I look like I’m six in this picture dammit.
The four of us with our baby tree.
All in all, despite my fear of bugs and falling off the forest, the whole day was quite interesting! We learned quite a lot about different forest species, and the Orang Asli who live on the reserve and still get their food from the forest!
I’m not a very environmentally aware person to be honest.
But I really learned a lot that day. And probably if not for Sloggi I wouldn’t have gone to the forest and opened my eyes to a lot of stuff that I didn’t think about before.
So with Sloggi, a bunch of us are pledging to take up the Sloggi Love World 7 Day Challenge in an effort to be more environmentally friendly and save the rainforests.
So these are the things I’ve been doing (and kept up) the past week.
Monday
Off the water heater when I’m done showering!
Wombeh always yells at me to shut it off when I’m done and I always forget. But I remember now.
Tuesday
When not using electrical appliances, unplug them to save energy.
Sometimes I forget to unplug my curler after I’m done -_- Or unplug my BB charger in the morning but at least I’m trying!
Wednesday
Supermarkets already have No Plastic Bag Saturdays so might as well extend it to No Plastic Everyday. Sloggi gives out a reusable bag free for that purpose when you purchase X worth of Sloggi products.
Thursday
Turn off the water when brushing my teeth. This one’s quite easy to stop doing. Just walk out of the bathroom and sit on the bed to brush so I force myself to turn off the water ahahaha.
Friday
I have this bad habit of clicking Print and forgetting to click on the option to print on both sides. Or to use recycled paper T_T
Put up notes to remind myself…
Saturday
Carry around a bottle of water so I don’t end up buying plastic bottles outside and wasting money and creating unnecessary demand for plastic.
Sunday
Reuse fake lashes at least 50 times to save money and plastic production!!!! Does that count?
It’s not that hard to save the environment. Just simple small steps in your daily lives can help.
If you want to contribute more, look out for Sloggi’s Love World collection in Parkson 🙂
Face when stuck in traffic because of a Chinese school letting out on Saturday morning, behind a female baboon who cut in front of us without signalling then drove as though she didn’t have a gas pedal in her car.
Face after reaching destination: lunch with Hada Labo and some of my favourite bloggers <3
My favourite kind of event! Focused on products I’m really interested, and lotsa camwhoring with fellow professional photo takers wtf.
Foruchizu reunited! <3
Group photo first!
The theme for the day was white with a tinge of red!
At least four of us (me, Cheesie, Kim and Cindy) scrambled around trying to find white outfits with red tinges (Eyeris and Shaolin Tiger asked us to wear white sheets with ketchup stains WTF boys) but it was quite fun to see how everyone dressed up according to their different styles!
Like Joyce paired her white top with grey leggings and a red scarf. And Iza had a very pretty red tudung for her red bit. And Ming wore a red top inside a white blazer and skirt.
Cheesie cheat wan cos she was in white and pink! Bag also pink, tablet cover also pink, hair also pink wtf.
Vivy all classy with a fully white outfit, red necklace and a red bag so expensive I don’t even know its name.
Why red? Cos Hada Labo’s latest range, Retinol Lifting + Firming anti-aging range is packaged in bright red!
If you remember, I wrote about Hada Labo’s moisturizing lotion last year and it was awesome! So awesome that when I tried to use my old toner after my Hada Labo finished, I was horrified by the drying effect my old toner had on my skin cos I was so used to so much moisture from Hada Labo already 🙁
Elaine from Hada Labo talking about Retinol range.
Hada Labo’s Retinol range is made of 3 anti-aging ingredients:
• Retinol Vitamin A – your skin needs collagen to stay firm and lifted but Vitamin A is needed to drive the production of collagen in your skin!! *gobbles carrots
• Super Hyaluronic Acid – famous ingredient already in the other Hada Labo ranges. Locks in moisture to hydrate your skin (later you’ll see just how intense)
• Collagen – for your skin’s elasticity for firmer and wrinkle free skin
Hada Labo wanted to introduce Retinol and prove to us how moisturizing the products are 🙂
So they asked us to cleanse and exfoliate our skin first and remove all oil and dirt.
Then they did a skin moisture test with what a thermometer-lookalike thingy.
My skin was 49.6% hydrated! All the rabid moisturizing after showers has paid off.
Cheesie’s was 35.7% HAHAAHAHHA
After thoroughly cleansing, we patted on the lotion.
Cheesie said why all good things also we put first on our hands. Even moisturizer goes on to our fingers first before our face.
So our hands should be more awesome compared to our faces FTS.
Anyway for regular toner, you to soak a cotton pad with it and wipe it on your face right to remove any leftover grime.
But the Japanese skincare regime is different. Instead of toner, they have lotion which is an extra essential step to moisturizing your face. Instead of soaking your cotton pad, you pour it out on your hands and pat your face all over with it till it gets tacky.
Lifting + Firming Lotion from the Retinol range.
You see this!
At first I thought I was doing it wrong cos when I was patting the lotion on my skin tiny gluey strands were appearing between the back of my hand and my patting fingers! And nobody else had that 
But then when I asked the Hada Labo people, they said this is entirely normal because the Super Hyaluronic Acid has locked in so much moisture that it’s created this effect. And the tiny strands look like rain *poetic
Then comes the Firming + Lifting Essence and Milk.
Very easy to apply! Really liked how the smooth and fine the milk was.
Then I redid the skin moisture test to see the effect of Hada Labo. Went up to 58% now muahaha
Huge difference to how my skin looked too! Cannot capture on camera but after moisturizing, my skin was so supple that the fine lines on my hand had disappeared
Ohai ageless skin! Take that, Time!
(pretend you didn’t see my wearing only one shoe – wanted to fit into the Hada Labo display box -_-)
Oh ya outfit pic!
White shirt – Minimaos
Heart necklace – Kyoto
Red wrist cuffs – some fashion bazaar, think it was Chicpop
Bag – online
Hello Kitty socks – present from Cheesie
Denim shorts and Lena shoes – Sungei Wang
Cuteness – model’s own wtf
Cheesie said I kiasu wear so much red when the invite only said “a tinge of red” I like to be safe ok!
Cindy & Kim. Again I loved how everyone dressed up according to personalities and styles!
Vivy and Iza.
Final group photo! (with Kim cos she missed the first one)
Then I went home and had the luxury of time to try out the Hada Labo Retinol range on a daily basis.
The entire Retinol range! L-R: Lifting + Firming Lotion, Lifting + Firming Milk, Lifting + Firming Essence, Lifting + Firming Cream, and behind is a Lifting + Firming Mask.
The products are thicker in consistency compared to other products, but also very very smooth. It just glided on (like velvet wtf) when I applied it and patted it onto my face 😀
Besides that, no smell cos there’s no fragrance or additives, and it’s also very mild (and non-threatening wtf) so sensitive skin people can use it too.
The verdict?
Retinol makes my face so smooth!!!
This is my face right after I completed the whole regime from lotion to milk. A little bit shiny because the milk was still sitting on my skin and not fully absorbed yet.
Then I went to sleep for an hour wtf (just got back from Gold Coast very tired)
With Retinol fully absorbed. And no makeup whatsoever. (except eyebrow pencil wtf)
Really made my face damn smooth! Like I said earlier, it basically works a wrinkle filler cos all the fine lines on my face disappear after I apply it. My laugh lines around my mouth and eyes reduced too.
I was thinking of how to describe it and what popped to mind was that my face felt like a sheet of plastic WTF but in a good way.
It was so smooth that for the first time in my life I considered leaving the house with my face just like that! It was all smooth and glowy and it already looked like I had makeup on 😀
But i didn’t do that la cos you should never leave the house without sunblock on so I slapped some on wtf.
So ya you can tell i’m very happy with Hada Labo Retinol and what it does for my skin 😀
Looking forward to a bright ageless future WTF.
It’s Pizza Hut time!
Increasingly, it’s become more and more at Pizza Hut that I get to catch up with this bunch of people.
Not cos we all lansi or what ok wtf. But I guess what made us friends (and what we have in common) are our blogs.
Without blogging swear to god we would never have met each other. Cos we’re all so different!
Take KY for example. KY likes food. And I like Hello Kitty.
Vivy (Proud Duck) is all elegant and classy. And I like Hello Kitty.
Mommy bloggers Pink Stilettos and Ceeramoon both like babies wtf. And let’s justsay my maternal instinct hasn’t kicked in wtf.
Wei Zhi is an investment banker. And I had to copy off Angela in college for Calculus WTF.
(but to even things out she copied from me for Physics ok wtf)
So ya I love our gatherings at Pizza Hut so we can catch up with each other despite our hectic lives and differences 😀
Anyway I came straight from work with Nick Davis and we were stuck in a massive jam and arrived an hour late for dinner -____-
Everyone was already eating!
I sat down. And saw this….
The Wow Savers 50% Discount promotion!
Actually when I sat down and saw it I didn’t go “wow”. I actually went with the more inelegant “HAAR? RM4.50 for pizza? Real one or not don’t bluff!”
RM4.50 for a pizza!?!?!?!
5 bucks for pasta omggggggggggggg
I eat mamak also double that price leh! McDonald’s also!
That’s like same price as a koay teow thng at a hawker center!!! (but with aircon and nicer ambience of course)
I was so touched WTF. Cos I love Pizza Hut (and there’s one right opposite where I work wtf) but I always think it’s too expensive to eat on a daily basis.
But no leh!
From Monday to Friday now you get to buy different items on the menu for half price according to the day.
Monday is Hawaiian Chicken Personal Pan Pizza and Chicken Wings!
Tuesday is Meatball Bolognaise *salivates* and Assam Boi drink.
God the pasta is awesome lo I ate one and a half plates of it -_-
Wednesday is Super Supreme Personal Cheesy Lava Stuffed Crust and Soup-and-Garlic Bread Combo Super Kame Hame Ha wtf.
Thursday is Island Supreme Personal Pan Pizza and Tropical Fizz.
Friday is Carbonara and Garlic Bread (the garlic bread is only RM1.50 D: )
Hawaiian Chikin! Ultimate favorite pizza topping.
Fun to catch up with Vivy! And meet her boyfriend Dean. Who’s damn funny la ok not discriminating or anything but he wrote two posts on his newly started blog and refers to himself as Vivy’s competition ahahahahahaha
Also met for the first time Maria from (Peliks) and her friend.
See the Wow TVC here
Seriously damn cheap la ok don’t blame these people for crashing the party.
Pizza Hut loves us! Prepared stuff for us to tapau home <3
Stupid group pictures! Maria’s face damn funny hahahahaha
But another great meal and great company at Pizza Hut <3
The Wow Savers 50% Discount promotion is for a limited time only so faster get over to the nearest Pizza Hut to take advantage of this! Info here
I think I must have killed babies in my past life or something because I kept getting stuck next to or behind or directly in front of crying children on flights T.T
Oh btw I’m back! As though you didn’t know wtf.
I’m also falling asleep in front of my laptop, no thanks to the brats on our night flight home T.T Cannot really blame babies for crying because I think most babies cry only when something is wrong and I think flights affect babies’ ear pressure or something.
But crying toddlers/children!!! *breaks table
They only cry because they don’t wanna be put down in their own seat or something! On one of our flights this two year old cried for 7 fucking hours because he wanted to play with the TV remote control and his parents didn’t let him.
I’m not kidding!! He’d wail for 5 minutes, catch his breath for 30 seconds then start for another 5 minutes again. For SEVEN HOURS god save us.
And all the while his parents did nothing! They were across the aisle from us and because I was unable to sleep, I sat up in my seat and stared at them for 7 hours to see what they would do.
Nothing! The mother was hidden so I couldn’t see her but the father just sat there and stared calmly straight ahead while Bratty McBrat wailed and wailed arghhhhh I seriously wanted to hit them both over the head with a vase.
If my kid didn’t shut up I think I’d get so angry I’d just throw him on to the aisle and let him lie on the floor until he kept quiet. I don’t believe in new age zen methods of I dunno talking to kids. I’ll smack my kid if he deserves it! Some kids just need to have fear instilled in them wtf. #violatingchildabuselaws
Or if they’re not scared of me I’d just say wait till Daddy gets home wtf.
Anyway Gold Coast! I was wrong about them having a theme park. They have like a jabillion wtf. We went to like three so the days have kinda merged into one big day for me >.>
I tagged along on Wombeh’s family trip (thanks uncle and auntie Wombeh!) and to respect their privacy Imma only post a selection of my favorite photos from the trip!
#1 Ohai!
#2 Movie World
#3 Us in front of the Superman rollercoaster. Which I didn’t dare to take because it looks like a penis WTF. I mean it’s a 90 degree vertical drop ok if I go on it I’ll leave my heart and the top and it’ll stop there wtf.
I used to be able to go on any coaster I came across! I even went on drops like the Solero Shot in Genting. But all that changed with two coasters – the Hollywood Dream at Universal Studios Japan and the Pandemonium at Six Flags *grim
Oh and age caught up with me wtf.
#4 Pretend horror and pretend went for the ride.
#5 Barely made some height requirements.
#6 Rare camwhore shot. I think age is again catching up and I don’t like taking camho shots as much anymore. Don’t think I look that cute anymore wtf (true story)
Sweater – Forever21
#7 Lethal Weapon 4 which crazy Wombat siblings went on. That’s them hanging on upside down in mid air btw.
#8 Birthday message for Wombeh’s brother by a Teppanyaki chef written in salt. Amazing thing was he actually wrote this upside down and backwards Starting with the tail of the Y on Birthday. Penmanship better than mine when I’m writing the right way up some more.
#9 Rehabilitation center for um pelicans?
#10 Penguins at Sea World. They were looking out at us looking in hahahaha.
Oh must tell you a joke!
Q: Why are penguins black all over but white in front?
A: Cos their hands are too short so when they clean themselves, they can only reach the front.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
#11 DAMN SEAGULL! We ordered lunch at a bar /restaurant and I noticed this stupid seagull strutting around the restaurant checking out the situation wtf. We tried to shoo him away but he’d come back and march around again.
Then when I stood up to get an extra fork, the seagull flew up to my plate and stole my sandwich!!!!
In the pic he’s enjoying his spoils. FML.
#12 My favorite thing about Gold Coast! If I could have a wild animal for a pet (and pandas weren’t available) I’d have a dolphin. Keep him in my bathtub wtf.
#13 アイスクリーム！
＃14 The only ride I dared to go on
Wombeh was thoroughly shamefaced because we were surrounded by parents and toddlers but I told him they wouldn’t know the difference between me and a child anyway wtf and I was right they did let us on!
#15 Nola after that I mustered my courage to go for this one! *proud. The drop wasn’t thaaat high so my debilitating fear of heights still allowed it. There were a couple of loops and corkscrews though but drops always feel the worse for me.
#16 My dream car! I have rational dreams ok wtf. Nissan Micra but I don’t see many of them in Malaysia.
#17 View from our apartment
#18 Ok maybe this was my favorite part of the trip wtf. Actually very few of the bags were mine! Wombeh’s brother suddenly turned into Shopping Monster and topped my shopping bag count (and total expenditure)
We went to two outlet malls but to be honest Gold Coast shopping pales compared to every other city I’ve been to including Melbourne 🙁 Maybe we didn’t go to the right places but everyone here and on Facebook was gushing about the shopping so I’m disappointed.. all I saw were local brands like Jay Jays and Cotton on and the others were stores I had never heard about also wtf.
#19 Yummy cheeseburger though! At Hog’s Breath. But I dunno why they stick a knife through my burger like that is that a threat wtf.
#20 Got this tshirt for $2 though!
Tshirt – Cotton On
Denim shorts – Sungei Wang
#21 Sneakers – Converse <3
(if you read my tweets, I chose the pink pair :D)
I’d been looking for Converse sneakers to replace my old pair and Converse there was having a sale so I got the pink pair!
Then when I left the shop I started doubting if I shouldn’t have gotten a different color cos (a) 80% of my shoes are pink -_- (b) my old pair of Converses are also pink -__- (c) I don’t have any blue shoes wtf
I hopped around trying to decide if I should go back and exchange them for blue sneakers. After a while I ran back to the store and asked them if I could exchange for a different color. They said ok so I went to get the blue pair. Then while I was standing at the counter I realized that the pink pair was too pretty WTF. And they had double tongues (which are blue) so I justified there was already blue in this pair so I didn’t need a real blue pair and I left the blue pair on the counter and ran off WTF.
#22 Heart necklace – Kyoto
Watch – Aldo
#23 When I grow up I want this pink baking set!
#24 Optical illusion. I am not that short and Wombeh is not that tall either!
Cardigan – Forever21
Dress – Also Forever21 -_-
Flipflops – Bebe
#24 Gotta hand it to Aussie beaches though – this one was gorgeous! If I was a surfer I’d move to Gold Coast.
Going to sleep!
I think it’s safe to say that in this blog, Mummy Ooi has been overshadowed by the more gregarious Fat Her wtf. His girth also overshadows most people what to do WTF.
So today’s post is about Mummy Ooi.
When Ooib and I were kids, we were terrified by our mother. In our family there was a very obvious Good Cop Bad Cop routine going on and naturally she was the Bad Cop.
Fat Her was the one who initiated trips to toy shops and bookstores. And he always let us borrow three books each from Novel House every week! He was the one who made up funny stories, who let us hang bags on him and call him Christmas Tree, and who let us twist his arms. Literally. (we pretended his arms were sugarcane and we were juicing hahahahah)
Mummy Ooi on the other hand, was the one who inculcated some discipline into us hooligans. Eat your vegetables. Stop running around and finish your food. Finish your homework. Go to tuition. Why score so low for Maths? If you don’t do your homework I’m going to throw your books out of the house. Stop spending so much money. Clean your room. Make your bed. Stop watching Looney Tunes and go wash your school shoes.
And more often than not, Fat Her would get scolded together with us Ooi siblings too wtf.
So Mummy Ooi was definitely not the Fun Parent. She was a Force to be Reckoned With. Sorta like a very scary tornado. (only milder than a Tiger Mother)
But fast forward fifteen years or so. Ooib and I grew up and realized that Mummy Ooi wasn’t the Dragon Lady we saw in our ten year old eyes.
She still nagged and yelled. But we came to some compromises. For instance, she never stepped in to our rooms anymore so she wouldn’t have to get worked up over the mess inside and yell at us.
And once we listened properly and burrowed underneath the nagging, we found love and worry.
Eat more vegetables = so you don’t get constipated
Go to tuition and study harder = for your own future
Choose a good man to marry = choose a good man to marry
She came to Mount Holyoke for my graduation and found my room as it was with no sign of luggage or furniture packed up to leave.
She yelled at me for three days. All the time she yelled, she was packing and organizing my stuff to go home.
When Ooib and I were in college, she complained for six years about our fees. When we graduated, she cried.
My mother may be a lot of things, but nobody can say that she doesn’t have the biggest heart in the right place. And her family always comes first. (yay for us!)
I guess she’s like a durian – prickly on the outside but soft inside.
And nobody can say that she’s not the prettiest mother I know!
Please. If there were a Mummy beauty pageant, my mom would win hands down.
Unfortunately I don’t know any. But I do know this contest that The Summit Subang USJ is having for moms all over! So near my house that’s why nyehehehe.
Just take a photo of your mom anywhere at The Summit – the Summit Garden, the Entrance Lobby, or anywhere you like as long as it’s at the Summit USJ mall.
Your pics can be of your mom alone or group shots!
Then go to the Information Counter and they’ll upload your pictures to The Summit Facebook page. Or you can email your photos to them at momonfb@summit-usj.com.
Best pictures win cash prizes and bouquets of flowers for Mummies!
Get your family and friends to click ‘Like’ to vote on your photo on Facebook! The snapshots with the most ‘Likes’ will also win cash vouchers worth RM500
Voting ends 9 May so hurry!
The King and Queen of (me and Ooib’s) Hearts <3
I’m going to Gold Coast tomorrow!
And I’m also having intense diarrhea so everybody stay away from the plane toilets please wtf.
What’s good in Gold Coast? I know nothing about it except that it has a theme park..
Never been anywhere in Australia except Melbourne either! And I hate Melbourne ya I know I’m so unpatriotic since Melbourne is Malaysians’ second home wtf.
Anyway since I’ll be gone a week I thought I’d post backdated photos to liven up my blog abit! Also since it’s Friday night I know you don’t wanna think just wanna see pictures right right.
Also for you to see the um growth of my bangs WTF.
Johnnie Walker party a few weeks back! With Cheesie and Mimi.
I must be the last person in the world to post about the party.
With the Biggest Head in the World.
With Cindy! Both of us so gross looking cos the aircon broke down
With Cheesie and Jamie who both have magnificent hair. Cheesie got like countless compliments from strangers for her hair bow that night.
*looks on in envy wtf
My bangs may grow fast but I have half the number of hair strands an average person has
Ok that’s that for this party!
Next one is….
a geek themed party!
We all had to come dressed our geekiest best! Or as the best geeks. Quite fun la hahaha geek glasses were a requirement and there was plenty of plaid shirts, big socks and suspenders to go around.
But nobody can look good with this theme wan lor it’s not sexy librarian ok let me remind you it’s geek wtf. I mean just check out Johann on the left wtf.
Except Eileen who somehow looked damn cute as a geek from the 60s! And Yvonne on the right..
And Bobo.
Dammit.
With Stephanie… and Kanye West on the left doing her thing wtf.
Hahahahahah dress code fail lo how is Kanye West geek!
For that matter, Desmond showed up with his feet clad in flip flops WTF dunno what parallel universe he lived in where he thinks geeks are people who wear jeans and flip flops WTF.
In the normal world, those people are called DVD sellers WTF.
After a while he realized his jeans were too long and he was stepping all over the hem so he rolled them up and converted from a DVD seller to a paddy farmer hahahahaahah.
Mookie’s geek glasses! #winning
Of course all of us just had to try them on.
FTS. #losing
Hahahahahahaa
Stephanie actually looked quite good in them!
I think she should wear them for her wedding WTF.
Me and .. (pick one)
a. Lady Gaga
b. Stevie Wonder
c. Robocop
Can’t tell which.
Speaking of Lady Gaga, all of them suddenly said strike a Lady Gaga pose. They all spread their hands and looked up so I did that too wtf.
What on earth is a Lady Gaga pose!!
Er I’m not sure what everyone else was doing but *I* was doing the Robot. wtf.
Mookie’s face behind me hahahaahahah.
Ok tt was actually an office party. And we had Office Awards and voting for it everything.
I won Most Likely To Be Mistaken As A Teenager. Apparently by like a landslide -_-
And my prize was someone’s daughter’s pinafore (borrowed) and a High School Musical folder (price tag RM3 still unremoved wtf)
The pinafore damn huge ok! Reached like the middle of my shins seriously what do kids eat these days.
Another group picture! With Nadia, Jesrina (who won Best Dressed All The Time AND Hottie of the Year AND she was on the cover of Tatler Malaysia a few months back), Edmund (who is a real geek his mother tongue is HTML wtf), Des, Steph and Edhir.
Mookie keeps photobombing me I swear… *clenches fist wtf
Off to Gold Coast! Will try to update when I’m there!
P/S: I categorized this as AudNerd hahahahaah I am so funny.
God for the last few days I thought my computer was broken! I couldn’t go online, couldn’t even detect any wifi connections in the vicinity.
I thought I’d never have to blog again. Ngehehehe.
But turns out I just accidentally turned off the wireless button hehehe wtf.
Anyway I’ve been putting off this blog post because I am dreading this wtf.
For like the past two years every time someone invited me to be a fan of their blog or whatever on Facebook, I snickered to myself. Or to whoever happened to be near me wtf.
Worse when certain people invite you like eight times to be a fan of them and/or insist that you be a fan >:((((((
Cos I didn’t see why people who are not exactly famous should have a FAN PAGE. Be a fan of what!?
Be a fan of blogshops can. Be a fan of a brand or a service of course can. But be a fan of someone trying to maximize their semi fame? Emm… wtf.
(even worse is people who create Facebook profiles for their pets -_____- I feel like shooting myself thinking about it.)
(Oh and I have an ex who got a dog with his girlfriend after me and created a Facebook profile for their dog wtf. And bloody Facebook keeps suggesting to me to be friends with the dog. FML seriously)
Anyway…. I used to think it was repulsive and narcissistic to have a Facebook page of yourself when you’re not Lady Gaga. Especially if you created it yourself wtf.
But…..now I have to eat my words and be a hypocrite.
Cos now I have a Facebook page too -_____-
God I feel like a tremendous douchebag even saying this.
Cheesie created it for me.
So if you wanna add me on Facebook, you can do it…
It’s a Page ok! Not a fan page!!!!
Over the past few years I’ve easily gotten thousands of friend requests on Facebook from people who probably read my blog. Don’t know can’t really tell cos most of the time they don’t say who they are and just try to add me. -_-
So most of the time I don’t authorize the requests because I don’t exactly know who they are and I’m not comfortable combining my friends, people from work and people who may or may not be blog readers on one Facebook profile.
So the Facebook page is more like an alternative to my profile. If you like that page, means you read my blog la wtf. And not just some sei hamsap lou randomly clicking on girls’ Facebooks *glare. So that clears up all the perverts!
Plus it alleviates my guilt about leaving all those friend requests untouched. So now my profile will be for people I actually know in person and the page will be for people I may not know, but don’t mind knowing! (only if you’re nice. And not creepy)
So now I won’t feel guilty about rejecting requests! If you still keep adding my profile, means you didn’t read my blog. Means you don’t know me. Means I don’t need to authorize you. #winning
I dunno what to do with it yet anyway. You can like it or not like it actually either way it doesn’t really matter to me wtf.
But if you do, thank you for your support!!!! I will…try to write more jokes and stupid incidents there wtf.
And I promise never to spam you asking you to Be a Fan of Audrey wtf.
The winners are…
Kath
Suki
Jessie Ooi
Thanks everyone for all your comments <3 It was impossible to choose just 3 and I wish I could have given everyone a ticket there were so many awesome answers T____T
Nuffnang will be contacting the above three! If they cannot make it, I’ll pass other names to them to take up the tickets instead 🙂
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