I feel totally qualified to talk about what I’m going to talk about today!
Which is contact lenses.
I’ve been wearing contact lenses since I was 15…which makes me a ten year veteran ZOMG.
For like 9 years or so I wore them on a daily basis.
Go to school wear, tuition also wear. Sometimes sleep also wear WTF cos sometimes I would forget I hadn’t taken them off.
Wearing glasses was not an option wtf.
Then I discovered color contacts which were even better!
But they were surpassed by the enlarging/defining lenses that make your eyes look huge.
Truth be told, I was terrible at taking care of my eyes and contact lenses.
A lot of people say that once you try color contacts you can never go back to regular clear ones and it’s totally true lor! Contacts that define your eye color and brightness really make you look a lot better.
So when I was in the US I got lazy with my contacts. I wore each pair for like 3 months at a time WTF and I usually rinsed my lenses at the end of the day instead of scrubbing (which is what you should always do)
My eyes took it for a year or so before they suddenly developed allergies to every contact lens I wore for more than a few days T_________T
It was so horrible ok!
I’d be out for lunch with Wombeh and some friends and suddenly someone would shriek and point at me, ““OMG what’s wrong with your eye?!?! There are two pupils” WTF FML.
Cos my eyes would be looking like this. Black shadow above my iris is the contact lens that moved up because of my allergy T_T
And I was damn sad la! I really didn’t know how I would survive with no enlarging contacts in my life. Cos I think my irises are unusually small in comparison to my eyeballs and eye sockets and I thought without contact lenses I looked perpetually surprised.
Thankfully for people in my predicament, Freshlook has a new range called Freshlook Illuminate which is a daily DISPOSABLE contact lens which enlarge your irises and make your eyes look bolder and brighter!
Not only do they fulfil the very important function of defining my eyes, they are disposable *weeps with relief
No more worrying whether I cleaned my contact lenses, no more worrying about infections and allergies cos all I have to do is throw them away at the end of the day and open a new pair in the morning!
Freshlook Illuminate are giving out 3 days worth of trial lenses at www.freshlookilluminate.com now. I registered and got my 3 free trial pairs from Freshlook Illuminate at a very appropriate time because I forgot to order my regular contact lens WTF.
Ya my prescription is that high T_T Without glasses or contacts all I see is a colorful haze fml.
In tattered pajamas and glasses anticipating new contact lenses!
Ok I have decided to show you what I look like without enlarging or color contact lenses.
Tadah. I have a sneaking suspicion I am slightly cockeyed.
Felt the need to decorate the picture with tortoiseshell teacher glasses cos without them I actually look demented fts.
See how my irises don’t reach the bottom of my eyes and there is some white below? I’m particularly anal about that feature of my eyes -_-
Anyway on to prettier things!
The contact lenses comes with a dark ring to make your eyes look bolder and brighter.
Before.
After.
Big difference huh!
With makeup on.
Ok so now you know I iz a sham. My big eyes are not god given but Freshlook given wtf.
Some lenses in the market have an incredible enlarging effect but sometimes they are too dark and can look quite fake. I always think I have no soul when I put them on WTF.
(btw if you’re going to buy lenses make sure it’s from a qualified outlet or distributor cos you don’t play wiht your eyes wtf).
But Freshlook Illuminate’s is quite natural! And sometimes with these contact lenses they tend to shift around in my eye when I look to the side due to its size but these ones don’t! They stay perfectly in place and look very real ^^
Freshlook Illuminate go for RM35 a box (5 pairs)!
But for people who wanna try them out first, you can register to get THREE days of free trial lenses just by logging on to www.freshlookilluminate.com ! Freshlook will deliver the lenses to you for free too!
By signing up, you’ll also receive a 30% discount off the purchase of your second box AND stand a chance to win RM500 and a 30 day supply of Freshlook Illuminate.
Promo starts 19 April and ends 13 June 2010!
Totally forgot I haven’t blogged about Universal Studios Singapore!
We went down one weekend by the very kind invitation of Ming who splurged for the whole trip for all of us!
Obligatory photo at entrance in front of rotating globe. Reminds me of Disney Sea!
(fuck just remembered I haven’t blogged about Disney Sea either. That was 4 months ago -_-)
The rollercoaster that got shut down *eerie music
I was quite thankful honestly because when I was younger I used to be a holy terror for all rollercoasters alike. Until I met my match — in Universal Studios Japan’s Hollywood dream *grim.
I really thought I would die there and then ok! I was making peace with my short life when the drop ended wtf.
Now I’m damn scared but will still force myself to sit scary rides (to respect my glorious past wtf). So thankfully I didn’t have to force myself this time.
Main street with Estee!
Group photo in front of a popcorn van that sold real popcorn! *jakun
Teacup ride. (Space version)
Hate this ride nearly as much as Hollywood Dream!
Every time I get off the teacup ride I’ll be on the verge of throwing up T_T
With Lindy!
Wombeh and me in our very own personal teacup.
Wombeh loves this (clearly) and he’s getting ready to twist that middle thing to spin our cup faster T_T
Pretend fear.
Real fear.
Universal Studios always has something going on in the streets! These people just set up the mats on the sidewalk and started breakdancing.
Um I am arrested and am going to be taken to the county jail.
(Crime: for being too pretty WTF)
50s style diner!
Look at all the red vinyl chairs and checkerboard floor so authentic! 🙂 Cutest era ever.
There was a jukebox so I did the …twist again like we did last summer wtf. Ohhh let’s twist again like we did last year~~~
(if nobody got it it was a song from Chubby Checker)
Performers doing the real twist outside!
Shit forgot what this lane was. Egyptian Land? In other words, Egypt? wtf
Far Far Away Land! By far my favorite!
Look how pretty it is! I feel like Fiona! Which would make Wombeh Shrek fhl.
Stall names are so cute too. Little Red’s Ride hahaha.
Can anyone tell me who this guy is? Friar something? And what movie he’s from?
Gingerbread Man!
“No! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!”
Adventure Land!
My, what big feet you have, Grandma.
I do not know this guy.
I live in fear.
Waterworld!
Um, well, Waterworld wtf.
Seen it a couple of times before but the effects are still nais!
KING JULIEN!!!
There was a Madagascar performance happening right outside the souvenir store we were in but there were too many people crowded outside to see.
Luckily the store had a window 😀
Outside a souvenir shop waiting while the others browsed. We didn’t get anything except the cushion of Gingy’s head for Wombeh’s office chair.
Wombeh found his long lost twin brother WTF. Hahahahah he got the pose down to a T!
Btw is it just me or does the Hershey bar remind you of Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo WTF.
Now I’ve got his song stuck in my head.
Zomaigad I am so excited it is Friday night!
And that I have absolutely nothing to do!
At risk of sounding like a broken record player, it’s been another horrific week and this is the first time in I think two weeks that I finally have a moment to do a proper blog post.
But this weekend is going to be a naissss long weekend doing absolutely nothing!
Ok so random updates! (which nobody reads anyway don’t lie I know)
1. I’m not sure but I may have a pimple on the back of my head that hurts beaches. Either that or it’s a cancerous wart.
2. Coming out of a meeting room today, a guy nudged my coworker and nodded his head toward me “eh are you sure you’re not breaking any child labor laws” WTF what do you want me to do? Wear vertical stripes? Dye my hair grey?
3. Some of us got tickets from Nestle to watch a performance at the Philharmonic!
Redmummy!
Wombeh, Reddaddy & Pink Stilettos’s husband turned up in shirts and jeans. And jeans are not allowed, thanks a lot snobs wtf.
The ushers directed them to a side room filled with pants WTF so they could pick some trousers and change.
But it sucks to be Wombeh and me because while Reddaddy and Mr Pink Stilettos found pants, Wombeh couldn’t get his size.
So we were kicked out of the Philharmonic T______T
But thanks anyway Nestle! It’s the thought that counts ^^
And anyway I got to take photos with Redmummy and pretend I was there wtf.
4. Hotlink gave me a pair of tickets to go see Kelly Clarkson when she was in KL!
They gave me the best tickets too — rock zone which means it’s free standing and you’re the closest to the stage.
Unfortunately rock zone doesn’t work so well for people below five feet 🙁
This was my view for the entire evening wtf.
I tried to move…only to end up standing behind a group… of European models. Very tall European models………..
(so tall they look like Vikings)
So thank goodness for big screens ^^
Wombeh felt sorry for me and picked me up so I could take this picture.
Not bad right for a Blackberry camera! They banned all cameras so the phones had to do.
(fuck this shit just realized that for all the photo’s clarity, I don’t see Kelly Clarkson anywhere…………)
But overall still a good concert! Again, thanks Hotlink and no worries about the height issue cos it’s the thought that counts wtf.
5. Remaining Kuching Project Alpha episodes!
6. This
is disgusting. I have the shittiest luck ever I swear. I’m always getting yelled at at work for wearing indecent length skirts so I gave up and wore leggings and jeans for months.
The first time I put on a (knee length) dress in MONTHS some kind of horrible mutant bug flew up from inside my chair and bit me EIGHT FUCKING TIMES ON THE BACK OF MY LEG.
It was absolutely obscene because I could see eight tiny punctures in my skin and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what they were. Until I realized it must have been the chair since the bites were all so concentrated.
It turned ten angry shades of red and itched like penis wtf.
Then it calmed down for a few days but suddenly resurrected again, itched even more and turned a cheerful black I love my life.
It now looks like somebody threw a hammer at the back of my thigh because the black patch looks like a bruise the size of the world.
And today I realized the itch spread around the patch and now there’s little red dots all over my thigh fucking fantastic.
And Fat Her is frantic because we are going to US in less than a week and the last time we were in San Fransisco, I had some weird insect bite on my knee that hurt when I walked so Fat Her had to carry me up and down the hilly streets WTF and even through the factory outlet FHL. I guess he’s afraid of lightning striking in the same place twice wtf.
HAIH looks like my nice Saturday is going to be spent at the dermatologist.
6. See below entry for important announcement! Don’t forget to email Michelle to win tickets!
Hear ye all!
PJ Laugh Fest is in town!
Organized by PJ Live Arts and Drama Lab, PJ Laugh Fest is a comedy festival running from 30 April (TODAY!) to 30 May.
There are a lot of comedy shows going on but for the full list go here
Starting from today um according to @kuahjenhan’s tweets is So You Think You Can Mamak..
followed by the Scandalicious Issue and Sex Money Scandal – The Pandemic.
I feel like going for all!!
I really think that Malaysian comedy is world standard so if you can go watch at least one show! If you don’t like it you can come back and slap me Kuah Jenhan.
I was going to say Douglas Lim too but then I remembered I met him that day and I was damn scared of him lor! He gave me a stare like I was sitting in his chair (actually I kinda was wtf) so ya don’t go looking for him ok wtf.
Unfortunately I will be away in the US so I’ll miss most of the shows 🙁
But one show I’ll be able to catch is Caught in the Middle..
Wombeh and I are going to go watch Caught in the Middle Part IV I at 8.30PM on the 28th of May AND AND!
We have 10 tickets to give out to 10 readers to come watch the show with us!
Ok this post is actually a thank you post to the sponsors, Adidas Action 3, P1 and MAS for without them Project Alpha would not have happened!
And not forgetting Kenny and his now fehmes Level Up gym for putting me through hell welcoming us for aerobics and filming!
Taukeh and Mike being nice and waiting for us to arrive!
Since everyone’s going crazy about Project Alpha Season 2 lemme try to show more of what the behind the scenes look like. The Season 1 segment anyway.
This is us all in the van heading to Level Up! David’s in the front with the driver, Jojo and Nicole and Mrs Budiey, and Budiey and Red Mummy (with a big clip in her hair hahahaahah)
(I think Huai Bin is next to Mira and Beautiful Nara is right at the back with me and Tim)
See behind the scenes footage! The big furry thing above Huai Bin’s head is the boom and it’s to capture sound. Basically a big furry overgrown microphone wtf.
And RM is talking a lot as usual hahahahahaha
Why are me and Kenny both scratching our back. I scratch your back you scratch mine wtf.
Actually I was kidding about the gym being torture! It’s probably the most fun I had in any gym because Kenny signed us all up for an aerobics class!
Very hard to follow so have to pay serious attention. And you need extraordinary brain-limb coordination ok wtf.
Ah Lost! And Anna and Mike (and sorry I forgot the other guy T_T or did I even meet him wtf)
Think they’re regulars of the aerobics class cos they looked like it was effortless *awe
Everyone totally not in sync -_____-
I don’t know what move this was. Krumping? wtf
This was the aerobics instructor! Forgot his name fml but I thought he was very cute cos he was all smiley and energetic.
And his ass muscles are very capable WTF.
Group photo!
After we were done with aerobics we had to just quickly touch up our makeup and move on to the next location because we only had so many days in Kuching O_O
No time to shower also! So luckily one of our sponsors is Adidas Action 3 and they provided us with lotsa nice smelling Anti-Perspirant Spray!
And also lotsa shower gel which I tapaued home wtf.
Part of the filming involved us giving tips on certain things in life – like personal grooming. I think because they think we pretty so they ask us
I forgot what mine were now but I’ll just think up new ones they’re probably the same la wtf.
- Shower WTF obviously! Basically make sure you smell nais (better if with the product above nyehe) BO is a huge turn off and if I’m in a car with you and you smell, I will open the car door and jump WTF. Same goes for bad breath.
- Pluck your armpit hair wtf (if you’re a girl). If you can’t stand the pain, shave, wax whatever. If you’re a boy, never wear sleeveless shirts where we can all see your pit hair peeking above your sleeves if people wanted to see the Amazon they can go to Brazil wtf.
(omg revelation is this why they call it the Brazilian wax?) - Wear makeup. It goes a long way in making a good impression because humans are visual creatures. It’s a good thing to look like you care about yourself.
- Oh and always apply sunblock religiously everyday even if you don’t go out in the sun. Sunblock keeps away UV rays which cause premature aging.
I don’t think these were my actual tips but whatever! Let me pretend to be Beauty Guru today ok.
Oh I have one tip for going to the gym too!
Whether you go to Level Up or other gyms (insert generic gym name) make sure you bring socks!!!! Forgot mine because I never wear sneakers and had to do aerobics with no socks on wtf.
I am on a roll with tip giving!
Totally digressing but I found this picture of Huai Bin right after we got to our Kuching hotel. While we were still waiting to check in he ran to the computer in the lobby to check his blog hahaha
And I had to wait in line behind him to check mine dammit.
So appropriate that P1 was another of our sponsors right!
Last season we gave what we each felt were our personal blogging tips. And a lot of people come up to me and ask for tips on blogging or how to get more traffic.
I dunno leh! I don’t think there are any hard and fast rules to successful blogging but this is what I think should be guidelines to blogging…
- Learn how to type properly. I know it’s easier on your time and fingers but it’s not on your readers’ eyes if you type like this “I noe u dunch lyke reading words spelld lyke dis”
- Please no music on your blogs! Especially when it’s a song I don’t like and I can’t find the off button, I usually end up shutting the page without reading.
- You knew it was coming! Make sure you have a good Internet connection! Nothing makes you more suicidal than typing out a whole blog entry complete with pictures only to click save or publish and get The Page is Not Responding wtf. Can try P1 broadband for connectivity ^^
- Success doesn’t necessarily mean getting a lot of people to read your blog. You shouldn’t even actually be writing to cater to people although I think I’m guilty of that sometimes. Write whatever you want. Be original. People will appreciate that. And some day ten years down the road you’ll want to look back and read your old entries and be proud of the person you were.
- Oh and of course if you steal other people’s content, may you be cursed with perpetual mosquito bites on your lips and the soles of your feet ^^
I think I probably mentioned this before but can you believe they let us go into the cockpit and take pictures there!!
These are my traveling tips! I’m getting quite good at it since besides trips I also shuttle back and forth between my house and Wombeh’s wtf.
- Always make a checklist of things you need to bring or do before you go. Wombeh made one for me because he couldn’t stand me forgetting at least one item everywhere we went. Unfortunately usually I forget to use the list WTF but in theory it works really well to make sure you have everything you need on a trip.
- Make sure you have enough money on you! Or credit cards. I once traveled halfway across the world with only USD40 in my purse which is understandable as I was a broke college student but also a very stupid thing to do because what if I missed my flight or something happened that I hadn’t accounted for.
- Put all your toiletries in a waterproof bag! Wombeh’s have an unfortunate way of bursting open midflight and covering his clothes in goo hahahahaah.
- Get your visa early T_____________T I was so terrified that I wouldn’t be able to get my US visa on time and caused myself ten kinds of unnecessary stress and hair shedding T___________T seriously I beg of you don’t put yourself in my situation.
Ok that’s all. Again, thank you to all our sponsors for being so generous and for making Project Alpha Seasons 1 & 2 a possibility ^________^
For those who haven’t yet caught us hamming it up for the camera, below are the first 3 episodes of Project Alpha Season 2 – Season 1 bloggers in Kuching
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3 – Gym! Ironically, my favorite episode.
Hello my name is Samantha.
And this is my HP desktop.
And HP and I are giving you a chance to win a trip for two to New York City to attend an HP private screening of ‘Sex and the City 2’ movie on May 25 AND an HP Mini 210!
The ‘Me & My City’ contest is running from now until 30th April 2010 across Asia Pacific and the winning entry selected for each country will win:
• Economy class airfare for 2 to New York City
• 3 nights’ hotel accommodation
• 2 tickets to the HP private screening party of Sex And The City 2 movie in New York on 25 May 2010, plus the chance to go on the Sex and The City Hotspots Tour
• An HP Mini 210
(photos for illustrative purposes only. Except maybe the HP nyehe)
How to join?
Step 1
Read and understand the Terms & Conditions of this contest.
Step 2 Register and create your account
Step 3 Submit your entry and upload an accompanying photo/video!
You need to submit a creative online entry of not more than 500 words about your favorite stylish haunts and ‘must-visit’ places in your city (wherever you’re from) and choose the HP tech chic gadget you wanna take with you on your stylish tour!
Then get your friends in your country to vote for it and the top 5 entries with the most votes will make it to the final round of judging where HP will select the winning entry.
This was the picture I came up with WTF. Samantha sitting on a trishaw in Penang WTF.
Don’t be like me okay because I totally misunderstood the mechanics. I chose Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion in Penang because I think it’s gorgeous but you’re supposed to act in the style of SATC and pick your favourite most stylish places ok!!
Voters also can win! If you choose your favorite ‘Me & My City’ tour and submit an entry describing what ‘Tech Chic’ means to you, you might be selected by HP and awarded four tickets to a local screening of ‘Sex and the City 2’!
For more info you can visit the HP Facebook Fan Page or here!
Not much time cos the contest ends 30 April so hurreh up!
Hello New York!
And I am going to America!
Woke up bladdy early in the morning to make sure I arrived at the embassy by 820 am which is when my appointment was.
Nearly had a heart attack in the car because the traffic police let every lane but mine go! And he let each lane go for like 5 minutes each or something.
I don’t know why all traffic cops in KL city do this to me! Other places never mind wan but the minute I drive into the vicinity of the city this has to happen! It’s like Murphy’s Law on the road.
Anyway finally got to the embassy, was passed through a scanner, had my keys and BB taken away from me, swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me god wtf.
No la I wasn’t telling the truth about that last part about telling the truth ^^
Damn stressful lor inside the US embassy! You can’t do anything without fear of reprimand. If you try to open a door and the guard is not ready, he’ll wave for you to step away first! And you have to stand in fear outside until he waves you in.
I brought a book along to read cos it takes about two hours for the whole process but I was too scared to read it WTF.
I mean what if I was too engrossed in reading and I missed them calling my number and they think I’m not sincere in wanting a visa WTF.
So I sat on the edge of my seat the whole time and made sure my ears were free of ear wax and listened intently.
Then when it was my turn, I had to be fingerprinted.
Had to wipe my hands on my skirt several times because the lady said my fingers were too sweaty -_-
And then I had to wait a while more to get called for the interview.
The interview is the most crucial portion of the whole application. It doesn’t matter how many documents you bring but everything hangs on your ability to pass the interview.
You have to convince the interviewer that you are not going to disappear in the US and reappear washing dishes in a Chinese restaurant wtf.
While I was waiting I heard this middle aged lady telling her interviewer “I have a house here! And a car!” WTF I guess she looked like the type to jump ship.
One of my readers told me she hoped I wouldn’t get the Asian guy in the booth second from left cos he was mean or something.
Well there was no Asian guy in the booth second from left. He was sitting in the booth second from right. And I got him WTF.
But he was actually really nice! He asked me if I had gone to school in the US and where so I told him Mount Holyoke and he nodded knowingly wtf. He said “out of my personal curiosity, what did you study?” I told him Asian Studies and he laughed and said “so you went to the US to study Asian Studies? Soon we’ll have Americans coming to Asia to study America” WTF make fun of me T3T
Then he asked me why was I going to the US now and I said for my brother’s graduation. He asked where and when I told him Wabash he didn’t believe it was a real school hahahaahah sorry Ooib. He had to google it before saying “wow it is a real school” WTF.
He didn’t ask that many questions or was very interrogative also! Maybe because I told him about Wombeh (serious relationship = less likely to run away) and that I’d came home right after I graduated cos I didn’t think I would be able to find a job there.
He just said “ok I am giving you a ten year visa. Congratulations on your brother’s graduation” ^______^
Congratulations on my visa application success ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Going to go look at Broadway tickets with Wombeh now!
After seeing Suet and a few other people blog about Reebonz I decided to go take a look myself.
Basically Reebonz is a website that sells luxury items (usually bags but got purses and watches and stuff too) at big discounts and I’ve seen a lot of Gucci, Prada, Miu Miu, Balenciaga on their site.
Actually I’d already seen their website last year back but I thought it was a scam site WTF cos where got designer goods so cheap wan. Some more Dawn Yang had some scandal connected to designer bags right I damn scared I kena cheated also.
But fast forward one year on and Reebonz is still around and seem to be growing some more so I think this is the real deal lor!
Has anyone tried Reebonz before ah? If you have, how was your experience and how are you loving your bag now! You’re welcome to leave a comment here so me and everyone else can share in your experience wtf.
Or if you wanna make the most out of it, you can also join the I (Bag)ged from Reebonz contest they’re running!
*wishes I had Reebonz bag to join
I’m not a big designer whore… not like Pang Tze Ching WTF my most branded friend who swims around in piles and piles of designer bags basically. The only luxury item I have is probably my Miu Miu bag and wallet and only because I really really really really really like Miu Miu designs.
And I mean really wtf.
I do like bags I suppose but I just don’t think it’s worth paying thousands upon thousands of ringgit to buy one just so I can put it on my shoulder and keep RM10 inside because that’s what will be left in my bank account wtf.
But on the other hand…
Just look at this bag wtf.
I saw it on my friend the other day and fell in love at first sight.
I think it’s probably one or two seasons old at least cos I don’t see it in stores anymore but it is so pretty! And even if it were it’d cost me my whole paycheck. And a blood donation or twelve wtf.
So I signed up for Reebonz nyehehe.
And found the below promotion:
Waiting for that bag to appear there but in the meantime, if you guys wanna look around the site, sign up with my invite code at this my invitation link: http://www.reebonz.com/invite_code/4feet9 or with this invite code: 4feet9 at www.reebonz.com and um maybe I can get 5% off my purchase? *blink blink
And probably the best part is, they got free shipping and zero taxes to Malaysian customers!!
You need to be a member to purchase items from Reebonz but you don’t need to purchase anything when you sign up! Don’t shred my hopes to reebonz! HAHA GEDDIT GEDDIT
I would be much grateful. Thankew muah!
In a neighborhood coffeeshop / restaurant / tai chow place, the auntie said to my mother (pointing at Wombeh): “is that your son ah why looks so different?”
My mother said “ahaha! no that’s my daughter’s boyfriend.”
Restaurant auntie: “wahhhhh your daughter so big already ah! Can bring boyfriend out to dinner now, last time was bring a book” WTF
Of course la when last time I used to look like this WTF.
Hahahahaha I found this super old photo from Leroy back when we were all on winter break and damn bored in Toronto.
You know how robbers wear stockings over their heads because it distorts their features? We decided to see if it really works.
Yes it really works wtf.
I don’t remember what that net was anymore but it looks like the kinda thing grocers use to put onions in wtf.
Ok enough of putting hideous photos of myself!
What if newcomers come to my blog and think I look like this on a daily basis!
Normal photo with Eileen & Yvonne 🙂
Anyway it’s probably quite obvious that I basically have no time lately to do anything besides go to work and come back and sleep T3T
I feel like a Sim whose energy bar is dangerously red and even though I get like 7-8 hours of sleep a day I still feel exhausted. But it’s just work and soon it’ll pass…
I don’t even have time to reply email Lipman who was the love of my life! wtf.
Lipman was my teacher advisor at college (for those who have only been reading me recently *narrows eyes wtf) and he looks like a big jolly Jewish Santa Claus wtf. He’s the smartest person I know and I adored him (on a purely teacher student basis of course ahem)
Anyway after I graduated I didn’t think he would remember me cos dozens of students idolize him every year WTF. But recently Yen Ping told me that she talked to Lipman the other day and he told her that there was a Malaysian student who did a thesis with him. He apparently spoke very highly of her and said that she was a very different and remarkable student T________________T
How I know it’s me? He said my name la then. wtf.
You don’t live until your favorite teacher calls you remarkable T______________T
Take that Wombeh! Wombeh always competes with me over whose school is better just because Gandhi or Koizumi or Coldplay or whoever studied at his school but whatevs! My school had Emily Dickinson and LIPMAN SAID I’M REMARKABLE.
Actually it’s probably because I wore pink everyday (yes that was a chronic phase), carried a schoolbag that jingled, wrote with fluffy pens, told him I dreamed in different languages depending on where I was in my life (WTF why I go tell people things like that), forgot his teaching evaluations and caused the whole class a 15 minute delay, but wrote a decent enough honors thesis and cried in his office while talking about Malaysian politics fuck this shit wtf.
Okay hope he doesn’t ever google his name and finds this. Remarkable will turn into creepy in a jiffy.
You know what they say about Murphy’s Law — what can go wrong will go wrong.
Like the line you pick at the cashier will always be manned by a noob who needs to check with his supervisor every step of the way? Or the guy in front of you just needs to order takeaway for his entire office? And the cashier still happens to be a noob? wtf
Or every sock or hair clip you lose just happens to be from a complete pair?
And every official photo you take will confirm turn out like shit?
Ok fine I don’t know if that’s part of Murphy’s Law but it’s true lor. In her last passport photo Angela managed to look like a fat angry Red Indian HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
(don’t mean no harm against Native Americans ok wtf)
In preparation for my US visa — which interview I am still waiting for *agony — I went out and took this photo.
Not so bad right? Just look a bit tired.
Then I went home and read the requirement: “a neutral, non-smiling expression.”
GODDAMMIT.
So I went back the next day to take another photo.
One eye bigger than the other check.
Crooked mouth check.
But at least I am not smiling.
Anyway when I was compiling all my documents for my application, I came across all my old passports.
Wombeh was beside me so I said “let me show you my old passport pictures!!” thinking it would be a very touching moment for him to see the person and child I was before he met me.
I flipped a random passport book open and we saw this picture.
I quickly closed it and tossed it aside.
I picked another passport and opened it.
GODDAMMIT!!!!
Clearly I have forgotten how I used to look. -______________-
The only people who can look good in passport photos are little kids.
I think I was six or seven when this photo was taken.
The only way to improve this picture wtf.
I don’t understand how I can bear such an amazing resemblance to a toad !!!
P/S: My interview for my US visa is on 22 Apr so can everybody please cross their fingers that I actually pass it if not no seeing Ooib graduate, no seeing Angela, no Broadway with Wombeh and I will have lost about RM5k T_______T
Made with . All rights Reserved. Colony.