Kyoto isn’t that easy to travel around.Especially since I can’t read kanji (chinese characters). And especially since I seem to have both cataracts and dyslexia and keep reading things wrong.
(i.e. mistaking Bus 81 for Bus 16).
The day after the bus episode I took the wrong subway train. Some more I told Angela confidently that I take this subway everyday.
Today on the bus I got hit on by a junior high school boy.
JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL! As in maximum age 14.
I guess I look like his age or something because how else would a 14 year old have the guts to say that I’m cute and ask me which stop is mine.
Sadly for him, I just blinked at him in a way bringing to mind a goldfish (goldfish blink ar?) and opened and closed my mouth trying to remember what my stop was called.
I blinked until his stop came up and he got down.
Yalah yalah my Japanese damn bad la. But why does he think I’m his age! My hair dyed what! Junior school kids where can dye their hair! My face looks my age also what! Which is a good 7 years older than him.
Imagine! I was in Standard 1 when he was born. Dammit how embarrassing.
Anyway, guess what I’m doing now?
I’m thinking about those poor saps back at good ol’ Mount Holyoke College whom the closest they get to see men on campus are either old professors or butch women.
Thinking that when they wanna go shopping, they have to freaking buy a bus shuttle ticket and finish shopping in less than 2 hours.
I’m laughing. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
I’m thinking of the equal mix of men and women I see everywhere here. (Fine, I have yet to see a cute Japanese guy yet because they all seem to have this fashion style where they look like they don’t bathe or shave and they wax their hair so it looks unwashed)
And when I wanna go shopping all I have to do is take the subway down to Shijo where is where I want to be buried if I die.
I’m sorry if I’m damn sua ku but Shijo is orgasmic. All the shops! And all my kind of clothing! If I die here I’ll die happy wtf.
They have this building called OPA which is like 8 levels of all women’s clothing, shoes and accessories.
Every floor is organized by the style of clothes they sell. B1 is my favorite cos that’s where all the weird funky stuff is (supposed to be ganguro/kogal fashion but who cares) T___________T
And everybody dresses like they’re going to a fashion show. WHy people so free and so rich wan! Like their makeup will be expertly applied with no hints of smudging or out of line wtf.
And their hair will be perfectly curled and blown as though they just stepped out of the salon.
And every piece of clothing and accessory matches and their outfits look like from a magazine.
Fake nails check.
Fake lashes check.
Fake LV/Gucci check. Ya I suspect at least half of them are carrying fakes *sour grapes*
I don’t know how they do it. Okay la, maybe I do because once I ate at a cafe and these two girls who had skin was tanned the color of kopi susu and perfect light brown curls sat there the entire time just looking into mirrors and touching up their already perfect makeup.
IBut so time-consuming! Think I very free is it? I have Tokyo Disneyland and Universal Studios to go to okay wtf.
I’ll find a short cut to looking perfect. Don’t talk to me until I do wtf.
Between classes I had a fun and innocent time playing frisbee with Angela, Trey and Neal in the Imperial Garden near Doshisha.How was I to know that after Joint Seminar, I would happily say goodbye to Trey and Neal at the Kyoto subway station…..
AND FUCKING BOARD THE WRONG BUS HOME.
Usually I take Bus 16 at Kyoto Station back to Minami Ku which is where I live.
The bus stop is this big pillar.
I was standing somewhat behind the bus stop. I saw Bus 16 coming in the distance. I checked that it really said Bus 16 and Minami ku on its dashboard.
So when a bus pulled up at the stop I complacently boarded it, not knowing it is actually Bus 81 which overtook Bus 16 at the last minute.
So cheat people wan!
I was wondering why so many people boarded the bus this time, and a lot of them were students and office workers.
Usually my bus consists of like 5 people and everybody is over 70 years old.
I thought it was cos it was 5+ pm that time that’s why so busy!
I only realized 20 minutes into the ride when I noticed the places and names didn’t look familiar.
But I still bluffed myself into thinking that maybe because it is 5pm therefore the bus makes more stops to accomodate more people.
Then the bus was suddenly empty except for me and 2 other people. Maybe they were lost too.
And the bus stopped at some bus station – those places where they keep buses at night.
!!!!
And I was stranded at a place where there were only bus stations, and mechanics.
I thought I reached Osaka already.
I called Kanae (host sister) and meekly told her I had gotten lost. But I couldn’t even tell her where I was.
I found a restaurant and asked the waitress where this was.
She probably thought I had amnesia and even forgot how to speak properly cos my Japanese sucks.
Then I made her talk to Kanae and tell her where I was. And the waitress damn fucking nice! Probably I looked fucking sad and pathetic so she made me sit down, gave me a glass of water and called a cab for me. T____________T
Then the cab came and I had to call Kanae again and let her tell him where I live T___________T
And it turned out I was only 10 minutes away from home. Wtf. How embarrassing.
I got home later than usual but safe. All for 1620 yen wtf.
Okay, review test tomorrow, babai.
Here I am!Actually I’ve had internet connection ever since Friday because that’s when I moved into my host family’s house.
Kyoto is as hot and humid as Malaysia. And I have to take public transport everyday, so I die everyday.
Let’s start with when I arrived at Kansai airport!
I arrived at 7.30 am. Angela was due to arrive at 2pm and everybody else at 4pm. What to do! I rolled my luggage around, put on my makeup as slowly as possible, read my Japanese textbook and tried not to fall asleep in case someone tried to steal my luggage/put drugs in it.
Then Angela arrived! Yay!
I got a drink from the machine. I hate koucha (the black kind of tea)
My eyebags very bad. WHole night never sleep ma! I mean sleep a bit only.
Someone else was sleepy too! We speculated he was an illegal immigrant.
After that everybody arrived whoopee. Don’t have nice shots so I won’t post them up. We moved to Kyoto Tower Hotel and went for dinner.
You order with a machine! You drop in your money, and press the button for the food you want.
I got the World’s Saltiest Ramen. It’s so freaking salty until it’s bitter. wtf.
The next day, we had to wake up early to go to Doshisha University (that’s my uni) for orientation. As usual I couldn’t do it and so had to miss breakfast.
The entrance! Must pose with the plaque a bit.
But we got bored during orientation. So we drew portraits of each other. This is Trey aka chikan aka pervert.
Me and Angela. Celaka she draw me so fugly.
This is Trey. With us and onigiri.
We felt he deserved a watch like the rest of us.
We were still bored. Trey has a train track because when Angela said “draw a chain” I thought she said train. I have a …dugong or something, and Angela gets a jamban HAHAHAHAH.
Then.. class over for the day! We went to Shijo, which is like this shopping area (I think).
This is Nishiki market (I think).
Strange shop name.
Usual pan cute shot at Nishiki.
We got hungry so we went to a convenience store and got food. But no place to eat it! So we sat down outside this shop to eat.
And then we kena halau by the shop keeper! How would we know, the shop didn’t even look open. He yelled at us and told us to get lost. We pretended we didn’t understand him. I think he was mad cos I spilled soup on his floor.
We moved to another sidewalk.
Food > Camera
Audrey, Angela, Angie, Doraemon! Who’s that white intruder.
In Shijo but different day. Yalah I look like a haggard old woman.
Bob wtf (we couldn’t remember his name so he told us to call him Bob), me, Hodaka, Angela.
I got a Stitch! Angela won it for me from the claw machine game thing where you have to pick up the soft toy and drop it into the hole. Very man.
At dinner. Go all the way to Japan to eat omelettes for dinner wtf. But quite nice la. I like omelettes.
Ok to be continued because I have class tomorrow and a train and a bus to catch.
‘Twas the night before leaving.And I’m in such a goddamn grumpy mood.
I don’t even know why!
Maybe it’s because I’m panicking that I might be overweight (Does Thai Airways really only allow 20kg of luggage?), that I haven’t finished packing, that my room is a mess, and I’m worrying there I won’t be able to go online very much in Japan (pai seh ok if keep using people’s connection!)
But let’s put that aside because I always planned to do an emo post (REAL emo post!) looking back on the year and thinking of what I did and learnt etc.
I know la normally people write this kinda stuff on New Year’s Eve. I wanna write it now can or not? Since this is the start of a new school year (I am so nerdy).
I am so nerdy that when I was like 2-3 years old, my mother had to lie to me and tell me that I was going to school and pack my desk and everything when in actual fact, she was sending me to my babysitter. Only then would I agree and get willingly into the car.
But I digress.
I actually learned a lot this summer.
For the first time in my life, I worked for something that I wanted, i.e. to go to Melbourne to visit Si Yeff.
And I made enough to actually do it! *pats self on back*
I met lots of people while working! A lot of interesting people, nice people. Quite worth my time ok wtfl.
I learned how to speak Cantonese! Ok la my Cantonese still sucks ass la, but a lot of people I worked with are worse in English than I am in Cantonese so I had to learn.
I learned how to say “Hoi Ngoi Tien” (Restoran Overseas) and Tiger Prawn in Cantonese but apparently I’ve been saying it wrong all this while. How to say it again?
I learned how to stay at home more and teman Mummy and Daddy Ooi. And to appreciate them more.
I learned that people change including yourself. And that it isn’t really anyone’s fault.
I learned that sometimes some things belong to your past and if it’s time to let go then let go and don’t whine.
I learned that the person you didn’t like at first can turn out to be your best friend.
And that you don’t need ages to be best friends if she’s as stupid as you.
But apparently I haven’t learned to pack quick enough.
Time to go.
Pray that I will have internet connection and I get to blog because I’m a real blogger at heart wtf.
No la I only want connection so I can menDarren wtf.
Bye!
I must have jinxed it when I wrote that the past few Merdekas I haven’t been in Malaysia.Because tonight I never even got to fucking leave Klang Valley.
(At least it happened this time and now when I’m going to be flying off. My greatest phobia is plane trouble…or or Snakes on the Plane wtf.)
Our train from Central Station was supposed to leave at 10pm. Suet came to pick me up at 845pm and we reached Subang station right before 9.
Then then the train was there already! Suet and I started running but it left before we could get to the opposite side of the tracks. :((((
Never mind.
We sat down and waited for the train.
And waited.
The fucking train never came!
At 930 in a panic we ran out of the station and found some taxi driver who offered to take us to Kelana Jaya station for RM20. Fucking cheat.
Anyway, beggars can’t be choosers and we had to go to KJ, then take the LRT to Central. Couldn’t drive there cos traffic jam cos of Merdeka.
So so we finally got to KJ and ran up the escalator to get to the tracks.
Lo and behold, the train was idling there.
I ran through the doors.
And the door shut behind me!
Suet was left outside!
I pawed at the door trying to find the button to press in case of emergency. But I had to break glass for it! So change of plans.
And Suet scared she kena terkepit at the door. Dahlah so besar. wtf. So she didn’t do anything either. Just outstretched her hand and looked forlornly at me. Like this! 
Suet said I stared outside at her panicked, like this, too:
And the train moved away.
Okok so I got off the next stop and waited for her to meet me there. By the time we got to Central it was 1030.
The place was teeming with Mat Rempits – dunno why lots of black eyeliner and goth-punk and Harajuku fashion around.
We talked to the Info Counter and they told us the train had left at 10 T___________T
So we tried to get a refund from the Station Master cos it ain’t our fault that we arrived late ok! KTM fucked up not us!
So we found the station master. He told us the train to Singapore just left 5 minutes ago. It was 1045pm.
Fuckers! He said the train actually waited for passengers who were coming on the KTM commuter that was delayed.
But the fucking info counter people told us the train had already left at 10!!!
I hate the fucking Malaysian system! Fucking KTM! Why couldn’t they get their information right! If they told us the train was still waiting we would have made it and I’d be in Singapore now and Suet could have gotten her bloody interview with Mt Holyoke!
So at 12am on Merdeka I sat in front of my laptop with Suet and listened to fireworks popping at Dataran Merdeka.
Stupid! Independence for 49 years already still cannot get the country in order! Wanna be First World country konon! Wawasan 2020 konon! My ass la, you have 14 years to go only ok.
Increase petrol prices but the public transport system still so suck! Better faster extend the LRT to Subang Jaya I tell you!
I’m never taking KTM again! Always late and always breaking down! Because of that, Suet missed her interview and it probably affected her chances of getting into college! Fuck you KTM!
(Don’t say so much, later sure have to take KTM again when no choice.)
Stupid Malaysia! Biar kamu dijajah negara lain again la! Independence for what. Not maju at all. *emoes*
Ask me what my plans are for Merdeka eve (Malaysia’s Independence Day)!Ask la ask la!
I’m going to sleep on a train headed to Singapore.
Why am I always not in Malaysia during Merdeka? Past two years I’m on a plane to America and now I’m going to our neighbouring country.
Why? Because Stupid Suet is going to Singapore for an interview with a MHC representative (She’s applying to my school!) and since, the lady is the same person who interviewed me, I’m tagging along.
Also because Singapore and Malaysia are apparently having some tourism promo where they’re letting students from the other country go to theme parks and other touristy places for free!
And I heard there’s a DHL hot air balloon! It’s my dream to sit in hot air balloon!
Speaking of Singapore, I found out some asshole has been stealing my pictures either off my Friendster profile or blog and posting them up in a Singaporean website called sggirls.com.
I don’t even know what this site is about! It’s either some photo rating site or call to chat with pretty girls site.
See so stupid! Chat with sexy sgGirls some more!
Fuckers.
I think they stole at least 5 of my pics. I filed a complaint but I dunno if they’ll listen.
Claim I’m Singaporean some more. Apparently there are a lot of pictures of KL girls up there as well – all put as Singaporeans.
Damn insulting! I know Singaporeans are pretty.. but why take all the pretty KL girls and call them Singaporeans also? We cannot be pretty too isit? If wanna put then put up real Singaporean girls la.
Don’t wanna give you the address. Give their site more traffic for what.
Oh ya I Who knows where can buy cheap and nice bikinis in Singapore?
P/S: Happy Merdeka Malaysia!
*claws at laptop screen*
Finally I am blogging!
FIrst it was laziness (and also cos Suet blogged already ma what for rerun) *click here for The Adventures of Shi Wu Hong and his Piggy Buddy*.
Then it was cos Prudence Pang screwed up and failed to send me any pictures.
Then I had to sleep early cos I have to work at Restoran Oversea aka Hoi Ngoi Tin which is a major achievement for me to even be able to say *Cantonese illiterate*
Anyway, on Friday I went to cut my hair and meet up with The Club.
Even the hairdresser called me Ah Lian! The hairdresser! Something tells me there should be a law against this. Cause aren’t Ah Bengs and Ah Lians the ones who actually BECOME hairdressers (Don’t worry no discrimination against, them since I am apparently one myself)?
But this one speaks English and is from Penang so kakilang la.
And he made up for calling me Ah Lian by calling Suet Village Girl! HAHAHAH! Cos her hair is a totally virginally unpermed, unstraightened and undyed.
And then and then! Once Suet arrived back with Tze, the other hairstylists rushed over and asked them if they wanna be hair and makeup models!
What about me! I’m the one who melanggani them!
Me (flinging back plastic cover): Eh why you ask them never ask me! Last time I asked George if I can be hair model he changed the subject!
George (in whisper): Aiyak, see cut wrong.
Traitorous hairstylist yang lain: Oh you ar? Ah you also can la.” (turns back to Suet and Tze) Ok la so you give me your numbers I call you when got hair show la ok.
Me: I also give you my number la!
Traitor: Ah whatever la.
Hahahha no la he didn’t say whatever la, he said “ok la you write down yours also.”
But but why never ask me first! I sit there for so long nobody approach also! Why they first thing come in already get! Probably asked me cos I forced him to wtf.
Hair model don’t need height also! I’ll just sit on a taller chair la! Why never ask me! I got double eyelids and I wasn’t fat in my past life! (HAHAHA) Is it cos my hair too little! But still can style what! T_T
Stupid camwhores can’t even wait for me to finish, must faster take picture already.
I don’t know why we took this pic but it’s kawaii desu ne wtf. Yalah yalah Ah Lian la me.
I have lion hair here but Its unofficially the official picture of The Club.
Yes la fat face again la next to Suet.
Me and Prudence Pang HAHAHAHAH.
The Club
**This is the 3rd time I’m writing this post – first time I accidentally pressed Refresh and 2nd time I forgot to save.What have I been doing the past week?
1. Emoing over my departure from Melbourne
I finally admit that LDR is the shittiest thing ever conceived of by the powers above (next to war, famine and guns). Every separation is worse than the last. Thus, I have been tearing and moping around the house in my free time.
2. Having my visa for Japan made.
No hassle there *waves hand dismissively* except that Mummy Ooi cleverly took TWO wrong turns on the way to the embassy, even with Fat Her’s handy hand-drawn map.
3. THiS!!
Knitting!! ME!!
On one of those lazy hazy days of summer, I followed Mummy Ooi to the handicraft store in Subang Parade. I sat down with a dozen gossipy middle-aged housewives and learnt how to knit. Unfortunately I didn’t make any new friends thanks to the age gap wtf and the fact that they were gabbling away pok pek pok pek in Cantonese or Hakka.
But but just look at it! Aren’t the stitches beautiful?
The stitches, not my nail. Cos my nails are damn fugly now.
The recipient of this scarf is so darn lucky. Nobody has ever received anything handmade from me. Except Mummy Ooi when I made a spice rack in form 2 for Kemahiran Hidup (Living Skills). And my maid when I made this fugly skirt out of curtain fabric also for KH.
4. Spoiling things around the house.
I tore the new road tax sticker meant for the Civic. I pushed my father’s laptop screen back so violently that it broke. I was trying to change toner cartridgers and pulled out the old one too roughly so it got stuck and spoiled the printer.
And what has Fat Her been doing?
Being stupid as usual.
Since Brother Ooi is in US, we’ve been webcamming with him often. I mean, the Parents Ooi have. Once they were webcamming with him while I was sitting opposite them on my laptop. Fat Her came over to talk to me then went back to their computer.
He saw a figure in a white tshirt moving about on the screen.
He put up his hand, waved and yelled, “Hi!!!!!”
He thought it was my brother’s new friend and decided to be friendly. *sobs*
Incident number two was when we were having dinner.
Fat Her had finished all his rice and was only picking from the lauk-pauk wtf.
Suddenly I heard a “Yeee!”.
I looked up and Fat Her was grimacing over a fly on the table. He killed it with a tissue and we continued eating.
Then I heard another “Yeee!”.
I looked up and Fat Her was making choking noises and smoothing down his shirt where his throat and stomach were.
Trembling, he told me he used his spoon earlier to scoop the fly out of the dish onto the table. Then he forgot and used his spoon to eat again.
Why is my father like that! See la, I inherit his genes!
Oh ya last night I went to Petaling Street and this stupid Ah Beng passed me by and whispered “Zhou meh lei kum leng geh.” (Why are you so pretty?)
WTF.
Pretty means pretty la! Ask my parents la! Good genes okay wtf. Hor Tze Ching and Suet.
P/S: Ok la thank you Fat Her Ooi for your genes.
Ok off to knit more.
Okay, okay, I found out I actually suck at writing emo posts.Kenny Sia said he laughed when reading my post.
Even Suet told me she didn’t feel sad at all reading it.
My heart is breaking and you laugh! *clenches fist till fake nails break*
Fine la fine la let my life be a joke la. Let me henceforth be known as the Sei Ah Lian who part-times as a comedian.
Anyway, as a continuation to Crappy Emo Post, I present Crappy Emo Post 2 (very original title).
SInce I am terribly inept at writing emo posts that make people cry, I shall emo blog with pictures this time. (Since pictures say a thousand words yadda yadda)
This is a tribute to every single time we met and then one of us had to fucking take a plane somewhere.
KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA
Wedding photo wtf. Taken in Genting when we were still only known as “best friends” wtf.
Taken in my house. I get a kiss because I cooked for him, hahahohohuhu.
TORONTO, CANADA
Taken on the train to downtown Toronto. Shaddup la I woke up damn early. I already told you I can sleep anytime, anywhere. Once I fell asleep at a MacDonalds at peak hour. Another time I fell asleep on the KTM standing up. Also fell asleep in office toilet before.
Taken on the eve of Chinese New Year, before reunion dinner. Don’t look at my fugly undies sticking out at the back. There, who asked you to look?
I decided we should have an adventure so we went walking on this nature trail. Luckily no bears around. It started snowing so I made him write this on a big rock.
NEW YORK/SOUTH HADLEY, USA
Forgot where exactly in New York. Being touristy.
On the Amtrak to New York. Woke up at 4am for this. Felt like fugitives, yo.
In a Mount Holyoke bathroom before a party. I was quite graceful that night and didn’t step on him or look too awkward.
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA
Where is this ar? Got tram behind…does that mean this is Bourke street? Aiyah dunno la!
In his very messy room. Okay la the messiness is due to me la! “You were supposed to come and help me clean my room! But now you’re here the room is even messier!” Yes lah shaddup la.
Er, as you can see, we’re living in a bubble underwater wtf.
On the tram to Roy’s house wtf. We’re the public transport couple.
Ok faster come visit me in Japan now ok Yeff?
Ok end of Crappy Emo Post 2.
This morning we (including Suet) sent Brother Ooi off at KLIA to the US.
True to Ooi family form, we (including Suet) woke up late. -_-”
We were supposed to leave the house at 6.45 am. We only woke up at 6.48 am.
We had to go in two cars cause we couldn’t fit all the baggage in one.
Brother Ooi called from the car in front, “Eh, Daddy’s asking why Mummy is driving so slow.”
Mummy Ooi said, “So action say I drive slow?” And she floored the accelerator.
My mother, the speed demon. The woman who drives at 60 kmph even on the highway.
When we overtook Fat Her, she said, “Put your hand out and wave at him.” =.=
When my brother went down the escalator to the departure hall, BOTH my parents cried.
I felt like crying too. Had tears in my eyes but I don’t know if that was because I cried or because I yawned.
All the best in the US, Bra. (Barry-ah said quickly = Bra) I’m fucking proud of you. WIsh I could have gone with you to America this time. Take care of yourself. I’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt you. 🙁 And if I ever see your tiny dick on Collegefuckfest, I’ll rip it out.
Love, Cheh cheh.
Some last family photos:)
Well, once again I’m back in Malaysia.A loooong time ago I promised myself I would never write crappy emo entries gushing about my other half.
I guess today has to be an exception.
Is it me or is it getting harder to say byebye? Or do I keep forgetting how I felt the last time one of us walked away and into the departure hall?
I was so fucking miserable that I couldn’t even sleep on the plane. Me! Champion sleeper who can fall asleep even before my head touches the pillow!
I keep wanting to cry, but I don’t want to because I won’t be able to stop and before I know it, Mummy and Daddy Ooi will be hitting me on the back, telling me to breathe in breathe out.
Everytime I see something that reminds me of him, I feel like destroying it. But immediately after that I quickly take it and put it somewhere safe because I’m nostalgic that way.
I even feel like shouting at couples I see “YOU BETTER FUCKING APPRECIATE THIS! HOLD HIS HAND MORE! KISS HER MORE! BUT DON’T DO IT WHERE I CAN SEE YOU!” wtf.
AIya I’m not even good at expressing what I want to say here. End of crappy emo post. Other stuff too mushy already. If wanna write, must write in my secret livejournal.
It’s so secret even I have forgotten the password. wtf.
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