Let me post more pics. This is so fun!

::This is Fat Her Ooi trying to shower outside the Holiday Villa pool. I promised stupid pics remember??::

::This is Fat Her Ooi 2 seconds after talking on the phone like a trishaw man. He saw Daughter Ooi with the camera and hurriedly hung up::

Guys in a bad mood drive in a terrible maniac way. I have discovered that through experiences of many of them who are angry and still drive. (this is not counting those who like to show off and drive fast all the time and cause people to get nosebleed. But that’s another issue).

On Friday I got the lovely opportunity of riding in a car driven by a Hell Driver.

Qi Zhen the Quack was pissed at his girlfriend, which is none other than my dear best friend Chung Jia Min, for no good reason. And to pay for his bad mood, poor us had to endure a hair-raising ride back to Subang all the way from Midvalley.

First of all, he inserted his CD into the player which sounded like a guitar riff that went on forever and ever.

Then he screeched his way out of the parking lot.

And onto the Federal.

Then he started cussing the number of cars on the road because he couldn’t cuss at the girlfriend.

Thanks to my lack of inertia, I started swinging around the backseat of the car.

It was time I put on my seatbelt. In the backseat.

Now let me tell you this. I NEVER put on my seatbelt even in the front. I hate seatbelts with a passion. They ruin my curls, flatten my boobs and choke me on the neck. If I have to wear a seatbelt, I usually strap it on then put my head under the belt that goes over your chest so I’m lying back on it instead.

But this time thanks to the terrorist, I was extremely grateful for the invention of the seatbelt.

I started marvelling at the cleverness of it, that when the car brakes and you jert in front, the belt tightens up and makes you stay still. But when you jerk the belt in front yourself, it just goes out without stopping. Ingenious.

I plan to write a glowing Friendster testimonial for the inventor of the seatbelt.

Anyway, the driving got even worse after that because Qi Zhen the Quack STARTED WEAVING IN AND OUT OF THE LANES. I’m sorry but I do not have much confidence in this person’s driving.

How do I know that maybe he resents my presence there in the car when he could be alone with the girlfriend to talk and maybe make up?

Maybe he is thinking, “Thanks to this fcuked-up small thing in the backseat, I cannot talk to my gf and vent out my frustration. Therefore she deserves to die.”

Then he will swerve the car to the left and brake a little at the same time, to ensure that the person sitting in that particular position will receive maximum force.

And the car behind will smash into this car, and we shall smash into the divider at the side and my brains will smash into the front seat and mission accomplished.

So to prevent this, I started praying.

“Dear Goddess of Mercy, please be like your name and have mercy on me and Jia Min. It is not my fault that we are stuck in this car with this Hell Driver. If an accident happens tonight, please let it occur on the right side of the car, and if someone should die tonight, let it be the driver.”

(repeat 100x with crossing of fingers)

My prayer must have worked because I arrived home safe and sound, if slightly shaky on the legs.

There should be a law against angry driving, as opposed to drunk driving.

PS. I found out later that the CD he played was the soundtrack for a PS game called “Guilty Gear”. Whaddya say?