AudSlave

I’ve been working on the railroad…

What the fcuk is wrong?! Why won’t my pictures show up?! Whose goddamn fault is this?! Ripway or Blogdrive? I swear I will sue. Now nobody will get to see all my hard work for the cake. Eternal damnation to whoever did this! I will spread the word! I will tell everyone I know not to use Ripway or Blogdrive! I will announce it all over Malaysia AND America. They will pay.

I was very hardworking today and cleaned my room. I took Before and After shots! But who’s going to get to see it now? Nobody. Because of fucking Ripway?Blogdrive. I mean, my room is not going to stay this way forever, right? And what’s the point of cleaning your room if noone gets to see it? As everyone who knows me can well attest to, it is not often that my room does not look like a war zone. For example, Mummy Ooi will not enter my room voluntarily anymore (I think it’s because she develops high blood pressure after that).

Jia Min once had a traumatic experience in my room. She saw a p**tiliner on the floor that freaked her out of her mind. To escape it, she jumped on my (unmade) bed… only to discover panties! (But it was clean ok, I think I must have folded it and put it on my bed before keeping it in the wardrobe). Another friend, Davina was sitting on my bed when she idly stuck her hand down the side of my bed and pulled out…. a bra! The worst part is, it wasn’t even mine! I think it was either my mother’s or my aunt’s. I probably brought it up by mistake, then put it on my bed as usual and it must have fallen down the side of it without me realizing it. And of course, let’s not forget the countless times Orang Melbourne cleaned up my room for me (grumbling all the while, naturally) because he couldn’t stand sitting in a pigsty.

Curses! I just found out that Ripway is the villain! This is the reason why I’m suffering here writing about my room, of all things. Have no fear, I will post up the pics anyway and hope that you people will get to see them someday.

B E F O R E O P E R A T I O N C L E A N U P :


::A view of the floor::


::A view of my desk:D Among other things are my Roxy bag, sticker photo notebook, stereo remote, MD player and Brother Ooi’s hairband, etc. ::

::My bed. Notice the handphone right in the middle? This is why I always lose it::

::The makeup table. Min, Hsin, Malcolm and anyone else who had to wait for me: this is why::

::Chair also doubles up as clothes hanger. Very innovative::

A F T E R O P E R A T I O N C L E A N U P :

::Tah-dah!!::


::A clean working space is the key to success::

::My bed after its makeover. L-R:Toby, BlueFlower, Koala-with-identity-crisis, SanjayBear, YellowBear, NormalKoala, LifeguardPooh, WeizhenKangaroo, Lolo.


:: You won’t have to wait for me longer than 15 minutes anymore, I promise!::

AudRubbish

Gunbound is sux

I’m back at the blog because for some reason, every room that I click on in Gunbound will not let me in. Either “the game in progress” or “the room too full”. I’ve noticed that the makers of Gunbound don’t have very good English either. πŸ˜› Plus, at this time, Gunbound players all seem to be Spaniards or Brazilian. Must be the time for them to be awake.

I have nothing to blog about.

Random thought of the day: I like my hair color.

Stupid act of the day: I spilled Milo on the laptop.

AudSlave

More on THE CAKE

I just can’t seem to shut up about the cake, as most people can testify to that. Aiyaa, don’t blame me lar, this was a major achievement for me as well as for Brother Ooi.
(ooh just used my finger to stab an insect to death – pest control of the house: that’s yours truly)

Anyway, these are the proof that I did indeed bake a cake and didnt just halfway run out to the nearest Berry’s and grab the nearest cake.

The product that took sweat, blood and tears

The product that took sweat, blood and tears (note to self: all that Mummy expanded when she gave birth to us)


Me holding sweat-blood-tears-product, looking vaguely psychotic. It’s all that hard work and stress, I tell you.


Oh that’s the recipient of the cake, looking quite hip as it is. The macho male holding a piece of Biore Pore Pack is of course, Cook No. 2, Brother Ooi.

Mummy and Daddy Ooi, holding the precious cake. Notice the cocoa powder and Kitkat used for decor? Innovative, that’s us.


My first slice of cake!! (yum)

AudRubbish

*Batuk*

Nursing a cough that feels like TB. And bloody hell, can’t even find my inhaler. Yes, yes, I am a scrawny asthmatic who depends on steroids to keep her alive πŸ˜›

Oh on the brighter side of things, the entire family ate The Cake. And nobody died or had to be sent to the hospital! Granted, the cake was a little on the chewy side (no thanks to Brother Ooi’s over-enthusiastic mixing) and there was no cheese smell, but overall it was F-I-N-E. Will post pics of precious cake up as soon as I figure out how to hook up the camera to the laptop.

AudSlave

Hot Cross Buns

The cake is done! Amidst a lot of sweat, blood and tears from me and Brother Ooi.
For people who are interested, this is the recipe (and what we managed to do with it):

1. Preheat oven to 220 degrees Celcius. Grease a 25-cm round cake tin. (Unfortunately, forgot to check temperature of oven, think it was only about 50 degrees. And the not-smart Brother Ooi told me to grease it by spreading butter all over the tin with my bare fingers. So I did.)

To prepare Sponge Cake:
1 At low speed, mix icing sugar and ground almonds in mixer. (So far so good. Brother Ooi managed to spend half an hour doing this)

2. Add eggs gradually and whip at high speed until fluffy. (Still going fine)

3. Fold in sifted flour, cocoa powder followed by melted margerine. (What the hell does fold mean? Margerine was unavailable so butter was used. Butter was melted too early on and decided to form lumps among itself. Scraped it in anyway)

4. In a separate bowl, beat egg white and castor sugar until stiff and fold into chocolate mixture. (Egg shell pieces fell into egg white, amidst lots of cussing and mass inserting of fingers into egg white bowl to retrieve them. Later realized that there were black dots in it and decided to ignore it. Egg white and castor sugar refused to stiffen no matter how much Brother Ooi’s macho arms whirled them around. F*ck it lah)

5. Put batter into a round cake tin and bake for 10 minutes. (10 minutes wasn’t enough, due to low temperature of oven – cake was still wet. Put in for another 5 minutes – then cake became consistency of brick)

6. Trim the side of the cake and place it into 23-cm round springform cake tin. (Had to use fruit knives for this due to cake’s bricklike texture. Realized in horror that cake tin wasn’t greased well enough and that cake had stuck to bottom of pan. Efforts to remove cake from pan resulted in cake breaking up into tiny crumbs. Brother Ooi cried on my shoulder)

To prepare Cheese Topping:

1. Beat cream cheese and castor sugar in mixer until light and fluffy (No problem)

2. Add lemon zest. Cream well. ( How do you cream lemon zest?)

3. Fold in whipped cream (Poured cream in. In hindsight, wonder if cream should have been whipped first – box did not say)

4. Sprinkle gelatine over water and dissolve over low heat. Stream slowly into cheese mixture (Tried to sprinkle but gelatin fell in big lump into water. Took more than 3 mins in microwave to melt. Then hardened. Also scraped into mixture)

5. Pour topping onto cake and refrigerate until set. Decorate as desired. (Not bothering to decorate)

Miscellaneous complications:
1. Halfway through, Brother Ooi abandoned ship, leaving adorable sister all alone to handle things and ran off to take a dump.
2. Daddy Ooi kept coming into kitchen to laugh at offspring’s efforts and remind offspring that the last project offspring did together (which was assembling a DIY shoe cupboard), offspring succesfully nailed doors of shoe cupboard to the back of it so now shoe cupboard has doors on its back and a covered sheet of wood on its front.

Results:
1. From outside, cake looks edible.
2. Got egg white on arm, courtesy of evil Brother Ooi
3. Have skinned and cut thumb, courtesy of I-know-not-what
4. However, was not electrocuted by blender, mixer or microwave. Very thankful and certain that animosity between me and kitchen appliances has ended. On the other hand, the battle with VCD players continues.

AudRubbish

Jiiiive Talkin’

I’m betting that H s i n ‘s blog entry for today will be titled some song from Saturday Night Fever, am I right?:D Yes, yes, boys and girls, Saturday Night Fever-The Musical = Fantastique!

Watching Saturday Night Fever has given me the inspiration to:

1. Learn disco-dancing (take note: the 70’s type, not Atmos/trance/Melbourne Shuffle dancing) – But this might take some effort since I can’t even walk up the stairs or on a flat ground without tripping most horrendously

2. Buy and wear one of those 70’s style dresses with below-knee, extremely flair hemlines and halter/spaghetti tops

2. Start wearing heels again (Come to realize that height does not really allow not wearing them, anyway)

3. Find lover who can dance, sing, walk and hold women’s waists like Tony Manero (v. swoonworthy)

4. Take singing classes

5. Buy a discoball and hang it in room

For full synopsis of day, you can check out Hsin’s blog. She’s probably very rajinly typed everything out, unlike yours truly. But Brother Ooi is back. Which means we have a cake to bake! (For Mummy Ooi’s Mother’s Day) Besides, I have to practise my pointing-finger-up-at-sky-with-one-leg-cocked move.

AudEmo AudRubbish

Spoonful of sugar

*blows nose in vain attempt to unblock it*

As you can see (or hear), yours truly is not feeling that hot. Have been suffering from leaky/cemented nostrils, what feels like a sandpapered throat, and tearing eyes for the past few days. As such, spent whole day lying around on bed/sofa, letting out groans and cussing viruses. Also, water tastes bitter. Daddy Ooi, how could you pass this dastardly disease to your only daughter aka the light of your life aka the apple of your eye aka precious jewel etc., etc. I think you get the idea.

Currently scouting around Friendster for pics of cute guys with H s i n . Haha I know…I’m damn lifeless. But it gives me hope that there are cute guys around. Haven’t seen any in real life other than CPU guy (Power of Four: remember him?) I have this soft spot for guys with big eyes, sharp noses and messy spikes aka Japanese hair. πŸ˜€ Like what Hsin and I were saying: *gets down on knees* Dear god, please give me one of them to love and to cherish. I will sure treat him well” πŸ˜› But it’s still my principle to never message any guy online first. P a k L u n, sorry I didn’t go to your Friendster page as you suggested. πŸ˜› But I still love you as Bender!

Oh no, I just realized that I’ve somehow stopped looking at guy’s photos and am checking out girls now. Some of them are really so hot, it either makes you feel like stepped-on cow turd or turning lesbian.

He just told me that he felt “incomplete without me”. Of course my first question was, “in what way?”. The subject was quickly changed so maybe I’ll never know. But I’ve come to realize something that I’ve never wanted to admit before: that the past is the past and however much I wish for the past to return and for me to relive it, well, that’s impossible, innit? Something that I’ve always hoped for to happen is now something that I would rather not have happen. Not because I don’t want it too (I don’t quite know actually) but because it’s just too complicated. I do wonder what would it be like if something were to start again. Would the problems and differences that we used to have still be around? Or would we have changed and matured over time so things would go smoother now?

Fook, this was supposed to be a funny blog, not one for me to lament and whine and talk about teen angst or whatever it’s called. With none of this sappy shite lying around. It won’t happen again, if I can help it.

AudEmo AudNerd

Turn left, turn right?

*rubs eyes blearily* I’ve been at this for hours (ok lah maybe not hours) and I still haven’t decided what course to take in uni. My entire life depends on this decision and I can’t seem to make it! How did everyone so easily decide what they wanted to study and work as for the rest of their lives?? R u t h happily chose foodtech at RMIT, L o w C h u i Y e n is practising drilling holes in people’s teeth in Melbourne, Orang Melbourne yang lain is counting money and drawing lines for his accounts and H s i n and M i n are uh, attending tutorials and writing bio/chem reports at Monash (sorry women – still can’t pinpoint what exactly you’re studying :P)


How did any of you make those decisions that seem so nerve-wracking and scary to me? Maybe because for eg., R u t h is interested in food and Orang Melbourne does love accounts. So what do I love? My hair, seriously. And makeup. As my close friends know, my dream was always to open a hairsalon. But if I were to bring it up with Daddy and Mummy Ooi, well, there would be a nice funeral to attend. Waste of my talent, as they like to put it.


Just the other day, Brother Ooi asked me, when I was little, what did I want to be when I grew up?

I wanted to be a princess.

I thought when I grew up, I would be superbly beautiful and be tall, with fair skin and long straight black hair and look like Vivian Chow (anyone remember her from old HK serials?). Unfortunately none of anything I mentioned came true. And I thought that since I was going to be superbly beautiful and look like Vivian Chow, well naturally I would then catch the attention of some passing prince and marry him and turn into a princess that way. Other than that, I wanted to be a doctor or draw cartoons alΓ‘ Disney.

Unfortunately, I don’t think my art talent or computer skills are anywhere or will get to anywhere near what Disney or Pixar is looking for, neither do I think that the fact that I feel faint at the sight of blood is going to change anytime soon. So I turn to other options. Having been in the science stream my whole life, I’ve decided not to touch the sciences ever again. So that rules out pharmacy, engineering, dentistry and whatnot. Then I thought I would go all artsy-fartsy and intellectual and take philosophy (Oh Socrates, Aristotle and Homer Simpson!). But what am I going to do with a degree in philosophy?? Name me one occupation other than lecturing and I’ll kiss your feet.

Can anyone help me out here??

Things I like:
1. Hairstyling
2. Makeup
3. Making people laugh
4. Talking to people
5. Taking photos (of myself or other people)

I could be a comedian who styles the hair and makeup of her audience then takes photos of everyone to send to their grandkids/neighbours/snooty colleagues.

AudVanity

Audrey = Snowman

Have discovered stretch marks on certain part of anatomy, much to my horror. Did self balloon up overnight? Did not notice any signs of obesity myself, but thanks to “thoughtful” comments by 1001 relatives and friends (i.e. Malcolm Lee, Barry Ooi, rest of Ooi family etc. *), have thus decided to exercise self control and moniter eating to get back fit body (without developing anorexia or similar, of course).

Fitness regime, starting from tomorrow:
1. Eat only 3 meals a day
2. Do not take too much rice
3. Do not eat Maggi Mee for teatime or midnight snack
4. Stop stocking up on junkfood (Brother Ooi, stop tempting me) and buy healthy food like fruits and oatmeal

5. Do 20 situps (Hello, washboard stomach!)
6. Take stairs instead of lift
7. Stop craving Slurpees and Cornettos
8. Do not go to sleep immediately after eating (if possible, do not sit down immediately after eating, either)

*Also, have been betrayed by own mother who keeps pointing out and pinching adipose tissue situated at only daughter’s waist to interested relatives. Probably thinks this fat is going to guarantee her grandchildren. Fat hopes. (no pun intended)

Fitness Goal
1. Get back stomach with two abs – v. sexy and empowering
2. Reduce size of ass while retaining size of arms, shoulders.
3. Get legs to look less muscular (looks too strange on petite me) – note to self: no exercise involving legs ie. running, cycling or similar.

Marilah kita berusaha bersama-sama menentang cellulite!! Fuhfuhfuhfuh…

PS. I’m back from Penang.

AudAngry

Achy-Breaky Heart

Just goes to show how hopelessly unfit you are when all you do is play a few games of foosball and 10 hours later, your joints are screaming bloody murder and you can hardly lift your arms up above your head to reach for the medicine cabinet without having some kind of spasm.

The reason why I’m stuck here on a Friday night is because (huzzah!) the Familial Unit is going to balik kampung tomorrow. I’m so annoyed that I have to miss Hartamas tonight just because as always, we are getting “an early start tomorrow morning”. Which in the case of the Ooi family, has never happened. Why am I annoyed? Well, partly it’s of course due to my eternal spirit of “hong-sohness”, which H S I N can well attest to :D, also partly to my desire to spend as much time with my friends as possible before I leave, and lastly to the irrational feeling I’ve had recently that I wanna be with my friends as much as possible so they won’t forget I exist. And to feel that I belong in a group.

I know I’m being v. v. paranoid and irrational but for a while I felt so alone because everyone was in a uni somewhere and had a circle of uni friends while I didn’t. Everyone seemed to be so busy with their new lives and activities and new friends. Felt like I was adrift in the ocean with nowhere to hold onto. But I’ve gotten more or less past that self-piteous state-lah. Lots of thanks and love go out to my beloved M I N (who knew about it) and H S I N (who didn’t), who have done a lot more for me about this than they’ll ever know. *muaks*

NOTE: This is a really nonsensical entry actually when I think about it. Don’t mind me, boys and girls.