Audvertorial

Green green grass of roam

Earlier I blogged about Yuna’s collaboration with Hotlink under the Now You Can project.

But didn’t really explain what Now You Can is really about.

Now You Can basically represents Hotlink’s commitment to enable you to do as many things as you want in your life.

Hence the ability to watch Yuna via live concert from the comfort of your own home.

But when I went to Bangkok, Hotlink Now You Can let me stay in touch with my parents, and keep on updating my social networks even though I was away!

Usually if I go overseas the thing I hate the most is being unable to tweet or whatsapp or FB even though there’s so many things I want to capture and update -_-

So Hotlink’s prepaid data roaming plan stepped up!

When I was in Bangkok, I brought a bunch of data roaming top up cards with me.

Everyday just scratch one card, dial it into your phone following instructions and there you have it!

Here I used my BB to call back Maxis cos I didn’t know how to follow instructions -_-

But once I got my data roaming set up it was easy peasy!

fourfeetnine
Tweeted wherever I went.

blog2

Blogged #likeaboss on the go.

Seriously damn a lot of photos we took in Bangkok that had me with my phone in hand!

massage

See hahahaah.

Hotlink’s prepaid data roaming is available in over 150 countries!  Works for iPhone and Android but not for Blackberry right now.

hotlink

Try it out during your year end holiday!

(Cheesie and I are going to Japan!!!!!)

For more info on Hotlink’s prepaid data roaming, click here for their website.

Audvertorial

Christmas present for Fourfeetnine readers!

You know the brand Azorias that I link quite frequently on this blog?

Yea cos they’re my clothes sponsor ma <3

Belt, top photo, and dress below photo from Azorias 🙂

Azorias is running a ‘AZORIAS Grants a Wish’ campaign for December!  People just need to browse their store HERE and add anything you got your eye on into your Christmas wishlist.  Then share your wishlist in the most creative way via any medium (FB, blog, Twitter, Youtube) etc.! Their entries will have to be submitted (means just make a wish for Christmas and paste your links) on the Azorias FB page, and the most liked entry each week wins something from their wishlist!

Azorias has agreed to extend the contest and do a AZORIAS x Fourfeetnine Grant a Wish contest!!! Same mechanics apply but instead of submitting your wishlist on Azorias’ FB, do it here in the comments!

Make a wish here with your desired items from Azorias and tell me why you want it for Xmas or New Year.

And Santa Aud will pick someone to grant their wish and give you something from your wishlist! So you get it to wear for the New Year hahaha.

Contest ends 31 Dec!

AudSappy

The meme proposal.. the film version

Fatty and I thought long and hard about this.  We actually were kind of hesitant to release this video cos… it’s so personal!!!! Can see all the stupid expressions on our faces and whatever goofy tics and habits we have.

But we loved loved loved the video and I was also afraid that people’s negative comments on it would ruin what is a very special memory for me 🙁

Plus my hair was really frizzy in the video cos I ran through the rain to get to the restaurant ok wtf.

But somehow some people (cough Nigel Sia) found the video and sent it out so a lot of people’s seen it already so oh well.

Here it is 😀

Meme Proposal | Tim * Audrey from Crazy Monkey Studio on Vimeo.

Crazy Monkey Studio’s FB is here.

AudVanity

Extensions!!

Haven’t talked about my hair for some time!

I think it’s high time Fourfeetnine publishes some vain ass shallow entry for self-gratification! *bangs fist on table

Anyway for a couple months now I’ve been quite sick of my shoulder length hair THAT NEVER GROWS.  I think cos I missed Raymond (Shawn Cutler) too much and kept visiting him to cut my hair.

IMG_0982

IMG_0986

So I went and did this!!!!

IMG_0992

I can haz long hair now!!!

Wanna know where I did it?

The salon is called 76style, in Northpoint Midvalley.  They have two Malaysian branches – original is in  Shibuya, Tokyo and the other branch is in Mont Kiara.

But the one I went to is the one in Midvalley, Cheesie goes to the Mont Kiara one.  Their stylists are all from Japan as are their products. Cheesie swears that after dyeing her hair at 76style her hair quality became nicer WTF.

I don’t usually feel my hair quality gets worse after dyeing but I gotta say their extensions are awesome!

IMG_0167
My babies wtf.

Before this, hair extensions were either braided or tied on, or fixed on with a metal clip.  But now Japanese technology damn advanced already they use a special kind of sticker to affix it to your hair.

The result is very light, much less painful and very quick extensions!  Whole process took less than 2.5 hours including hair wash.

When you touch my head cannot feel the extensions at all, whereas if you braid it in, you can feel tiny bumps.  And sleeping is a lot easier with them too.

For more details, see 76style’s blog entry on my extensions here.

IMG_1012
Sorry cannot get over the joy of long hair ^^

Leopard print hairband from Forever21, white cropped sweater from Murua, Mickey jeans from Korea.

IMG_1008

Wearing MURUA Dolly Collar dress from minimaos, belt from Azorias, hair from 76style wtf.

76style was also the hair sponsor for NAPBAS so they did me and Cheesie’s hair for the day too! (actually they did for a lot of bloggers wtf)

IMG_1015
My stylist Hikkey.

IMG_1016
Just told her I wanted something more mature and not so cute (in comparison to my last NAPBAS creamcake outfit) and left it in her capable hands.

IMG_1018

Super loved my hair ok!!! Ooib said it looks like a bird’s nest *holds grudge.  But I love it it looks super Scawaii and model like!  And my face is very thick!

IMG_0201
Hair done makeup not yet.

IMG_0210In the process of getting ready.  We piled all our paint in front of the mirror and squashed for space but fun haven’t done makeup together with friend since Angela T___T

IMG_0206 Makeup done! 

 

 

 

IMG_0202

 

Rushing Cheesie cos she say she can get ready in 15 mins but I still finished faster than her #freddiemercury.jpg

IMG_0204

IMG_0211

Not visible in these photos but the extensions were actually of different shades so there’s highlights and lowlights in my hair and it looks damn awesome and natural!

IMG_1029

 

Us after makeup and hair.

IMG_1027

 

Look demure here so must post.

IMG_0212

 

Full outfit! (without shoes)

IMG_1021

Just wanted to show Hikkey to thank her again.

For more details on extensions and other hair stuff, go to 76style.

(full NAPBAS post coming up!)

Audvertorial

Now Yuna Can

SAM_4303
Ahh Bangkok.

Remember my trip to Bangkok sponsored by Hotlink’s Now You Can project?

Guess what they have in store for everyone now?

(cos last time only I got the benefits wtf now you can too HAHAHA I AM SO PUNNY)

DSC00844
I was very lucky to see Yuna perform at a Nuffnang event last year.

DSC00848
In case you don’t believe it’s really her. Picture of her with Patrek Kuah.

No picture with me I haz a sad. So many people were trying to take pictures with her and she looked like she was rushing and I felt shy wtf.

Anyway Yuna who is like the hottest act in Malaysia right now is collaborating with Hotlink to bring Malaysia our first ever ONLINE CONCERT. The Hotlink People Powered Concert.

Watch Yuna perform in the comfort of your own home? Can.

Get involved in the performance just like a real concert? Can.

Stalk Yuna with binoculars and a knife? Cannot wtf.

All you have to do is pre-book spots on the Now You Can website HERE.  But since it’s a concert there’s also limited seats available of course.

Only 10,000 will get spots. Concert will be streaming live from the website this week 14 December at exactly 8pm. You will have to logon between 7pm and 7.15pm to get into the live viewing.

According to Maxis, Yuna will also be sharing a new yet-to-be-unreleased track with the support of all her fans at her Hotlink concert!

SAM_4492
Faster go register before the spots run out!

For more details, visit www.facebook.com/hotlink and register at www.nowyoucan.my/yuna

AudSappy

The proposal

This is it!

Our long awaited engagement post!

Sorry to be all continuously gushy about our engagement but surprisingly only one hate comment received!!!

But disappointing cos all he/she could come up with was that my ring looks cheap and my children will be short and fat WTF.  Bitch didn’t even try!!!!

Ok so here goes. Super long post with lotsa pictures btw better sit down and have some tea.

Last Tuesday, Jammie called me and asked if I could have dinner with her and Tze the next day.  Background was that Jam and Tze had a fight a few days before FTL and Jam wanted be to mediate between them at dinner in case they punch each other WTF.

So I said ok dinner on.

Then on Wednesday, Ringo asked me for dinner too.  But I told her cannot cos I have to be peacemaker for my friends.  She said “orh ok”

Like an hour later, Jammie whatsapped me to say she bumped into Cheesie at Midvalley and could she come for dinner with us?

I was like er I don’t think so because you guys had a fight and you’re going to use dinner to talk it out!  How to let Ringo come she’ll feel so awkward there!  How are you guys going to talk it out plus Ringo hasn’t even met Tze sure awkward gao gao.

And Jam was like “oh sorry I already invited her” WTF.

So I said “ok la however you guys want to handle it wtf let me just warn her” wtf.  And secretly I was cursing Jammie for making me look like a bad friend because I didn’t invite #addiction to dinner but instead Jammie did wtf.

Anyway I got to the restaurant and we were in the middle of dinner lalala.

I was very engrossed in my food (arrived late, very hungry) so I didn’t hear anything for a few seconds.  But suddenly Tze poked me in the side and said “eh look over there.”

I looked over and there through the glass doors of the restaurant was Fatty (waving hard), his friends Ah Quah and Sin Thean and some Nuffies.

Fatty told me the day before that he had dinner with Ah Quah and Sin Thean so I thought that they decided to have dinner at Neroteca too.  And I thought the Nuffies were there because they wanted to get dinner after work or something.  But I realized that the three of them – Mimi, Rina and Angeline – all were wearing super nice cocktail dresses with full on makeup and hair.  I remember vaguely thinking “eh is NAPBAS (the Nuffnang blog awards) tonight?” hahahah.

But I didn’t have time to think about it because suddenly Fatty had a bunch of placards in his arms and he was beckoning me to read them through the glass door.

IMG_2194

(this is a reenactment)

When I saw this I thought “shit shit what occasion is this is this some special day I forgot ah not my birthday not Valentine’s not Christmas not our anniversary then!?”

IMG_2195

First thing that occurred to me: “Socially Awkward Penguin!!”

IMG_2196

IMG_2197

I thought, Oh god please don’t let this be a break up WTF.

IMG_2198

IMG_2199

At this point, I should clarify that Fatty and I had talked about marriage before many times.  And every single time he tells me that he’s not ready to get married lo!!!!  And would only be ready in his 30s.

I eventually want to get married but because I’ve never been the romantic type of person who dreams about her wedding and wants to get married by a certain age, I wasn’t too bothered about getting married later.  I think I only said “ok ah but don’t expect too many children” WTF cos old already ma how to have kids hahaha.

I think it could also be because none of my best friends are married yet so I didn’t feel any pressure.

I definitely didn’t feel any pressure from my family who all still seem to think I’m like twelve years old.

So at this point in the signs, I felt pretty sure this wasn’t a proposal.

IMG_2200

IMG_2201

IMG_2202

IMG_2203

IMG_2204

IMG_2205

IMG_2206

IMG_2207

Here I was like what is this sorcery #INGLIP

Because to add on, Fatty told me before that his fortune teller told him he should get married at a later age in order to have a better marriage.  And Fatty is like the most superstitious person I know so I never questioned it wtf.

So I still didn’t believe where he was heading with this.

IMG_2208

IMG_2209

IMG_2210

IMG_2211

IMG_2212

Because he was standing a few feet away and my eyes suck, I thought he purposely printed out some words in small font so I couldn’t see WTF.

IMG_2213

So this next sign came as a shock.

All the people around Fatty were like smiling and nodding their heads vigorously to indicate yes.

One of my friends prodded me and said “you have to answer!!!” So I blindly nodded.

Then I sat there not moving until an extremely nervous Fatty opened the glass door and came in to the restaurant.  And suddenly Sin Thean appeared behind him with a huge bouquet of flowers wtf.

One of my friends again prodded me and hissed “eh stand up and go to him!”

So I stood up and walked over to him.  I was in shock so I kept asking “eh is this a joke ah are you serious are you joking” ._____.

I don’t remember this part wtf but Fatty says he took out the ring box from his pocket, opened it and asked “so do you think this is still a joke?”

Rina took this picture.  My stupid friends all sobbing behind wtf.

I cried T______T Fatty was on his knees looking at me holding up the ring and I dunno I just couldn’t believe this was happening and that he really wanted to marry me T_______T

Everyone was urging “say yes say yes!” So I said yes.  And Fatty put a ring on it.

Then he held up this sign.

IMG_2214

He said if I said no, he’d put this up:

IMG_2215

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

22

So that’s the story 😀

17

Why we have all these nice pictures is because there were cameramen hidden all over the restaurant!

Fatty planned it so we could have the memory documented for the future.  And maybe to use in our wedding video wtf.  Told you he’s a super planning type!

No wonder halfway during reading the signs, I realized some asshole in front of me had turned around in his seat with his camcorder and was recording my face!!!

I was a bit pissed hahahaah cos why is he so kepoh go and film people’s moments with their other half!  Didn’t know he was part of the crew.  But I was trying not to miss any  of the signs so didn’t have time to show him fierce face hahahaha.

Even scarier, there was another cameraman hiding behind me the whole time in the corner recording us eating!! Super not aware of my surroundings lo I sure become a victim of crime wan cos people will just sneak up on me and rape/rob/stab/kidnap me easily.

12

Then we all sat down with our friends and had dinner together 🙂

02

06

09

16

1

10

19

Oh things I should note:

1. I would never have said no 🙂

2. WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME TO PUT ON MORE MAKEUP AND DO MY HAIR

3. Neroteca is usually quite dimly lit, but on that day it was so brightly lit up!  I kept commenting on it “eh why today so bright wan” while everyone ignored me.  Later I found out it was so the cameramen could film properly.

4. Fatty asked two friends – Angela and Ringo – to find out my ring size.  Angela remembered it as size 4 from our college days, and Ringo one day asked me how come I didn’t wear rings.  I told her it was because no ring fits me and she asked me what size I was.  I told her size 4 and she sneakily reported back to Tim!  Angela even showed me ring designs and asked me which ones I liked wtf but I didn’t suspect anything because her best friend in Vancouver is also getting married and she was helping to plan the wedding.

5. Size 4 ring turned out to be wrong FTL.  I went to check at a jeweler’s and found that I am actually size 1 -________- Any smaller and I won’t have fingers wtf.  So we’ll have to get it resized.

6. I loved that Fatty’s proposal was so … us.  If it was any bigger or glamorous it would have been too much.  A bit geeky but whatever ok!!!! He knows I’m a meme freak so he went to research memes and rage faces so he could put it all together. He used Philosoraptor wrong though hahaha.  And that it was at a restaurant we always go to, and that most of our best friends were there made it all the better :):)

7. After our dinner, Fatty and I rushed back to my house so he could ask my parents for my hand.  We got there to see Fat Her and Ooib both with one leg up on the couch, brandishing a samurai sword WTF HAHAHAHAHA. But don’t worry, no blood was shed, Fat Her and Mummy Ooi gave their blessing, and Ooib and Fatty shared their first bro-hug.

21

 

To (in alphabetical order) Angeline, Jammie, Mimi, Ah Quah, Rina, Ringo, Sin Thean and Tze, thank you all for helping Fatty put something like this together, and for being there with us 🙂 Also to my Angie who was there in er heart and soul wtf.

To my Fatty,

Some of our sequence and memories of the event may differ so you can go see Fatty’s blog for how he remembered it ^_^

AudRubbish

Pay it forward

I HAVE ONLY ONE THING TO SAY TODAY.

PAY YOUR TAXES ON TIME.

I am a lesson to all procrastinators -_________-

I’m the type of person who hates numbers and details of any sort.  (It’s a wonder I managed to stay so long in the industry I work in wtf)  Hate until it became a phobia I swear.

In college I used to throw away my bank statements and phone bills unopened WTF because I couldn’t deal with the numbers.

(and the dwindling money in the bank)

Now my parents reading this will know hehehehe.

So since I started work I’ve been atrociously the same.  Every year when I received my EA form (something to settle taxes with) I threw it into my drawer -______- and never did my taxes -_________-

Then when Fatty found out a few weeks ago what I’d been doing, he went berserk wtf.  He yelled at me to do my taxes but I delayed again WTF.

Then yesterday he forced me to go get it done today by saying I’ll go to jail !!!!!!! (true story)

I had visions of myself learning karate to self defend in jail and coming out with homemade tattoos I draw myself -_____-

So today I faced the truth and went to the tax office T_________T (together with Rina who is an angel sent from above)

Filled in my forms and wiped out my savings paying accumulated tax T_________T

I was worried I wouldn’t even have enough to pay off all but I got ngam ngam.  Hello bankruptcy wtf.

And now I’m still awaiting verdict on how much penalty/jail time I have to do WTF.

Seriously.  Learn from me I’m telling everyone younger than me to go do your taxes on time.  Only everyone younger than me has already filed their taxes and I am worse than terrible.

Nearly had to pawn this.

HAHAHA JOKING AH JOKING *holds tight in fist

P/S: proposal story next post only.  Must even out the mushiness.

AudSappy

The Story of Shorty and Fatty

If you’ve been reading my blog for years and years (:D) you’d notice that I don’t really talk about personal stuff much.

It’s not you, it’s me wtf.  Even sometimes my best friends say I don’t talk much about personal, relationship-y, feelings-y stuff much wtf.

My theory is that I got not much emotions anyway.  Or if I do and they’re negative, I’d rather do more productive things with my time than talk about them.  Like sleep WTF.

But this is something that over the years random readers have asked me to write.  Which is how me and Fatty met ahem.

I always replied I’d write about it if we get married one day cos not only do I not usually talk about personal stuff, I am also lazy wtf.  Now have to fulfil promise!!!!!

Ok here goes.

Fatty and I met max a few weeks after I came back from the US for good.  Initially was supposed to stay back in the US for a while to job hunt but then the economy went to shit so Fat Her made me come back after graduation.

So one day! I was out for lunch and shopping with Pang Tze Ching and Hui Wen.  Still remember what I was wearing some more! Cos got pictures from that day hahahaha.

IMG_9093

Anyway we were traipsing all over Telawi looking at shops when Su Ann called Tze and said she was in Bangsar too and did Audrey want to meet Kenny cos Kenny and I were supposed to meet up the last year or something but I think I FFK-ed him *guilt.

So I said ok and we went to meet Kenny and Su Ann.

And turns out it wasn’t just Kenny and Su Ann!  They were with a whole bunch of people I didn’t know.  And awkwardly, they were all there cos it was some fella’s birthday and we were crashing his birthday surprise FOL.

That fella was Fatty.

TLDR: We basically met on his birthday.  Best birthday present ever WTF.  Kidding hahahahahaha.

I heard of him before because Suet had interned at Nuffnang the year before and I knew him as Suet’s boss.  I had even spoken to him over the phone once before passing him to my boss at my own internship wtf.  But I had never met him and had no idea what he looked like even.  Or what his name really was wtf.

Oh that was also the first time I met my #addiction.  Although she lansi sit at the other end of the table never talk to me hahaha.

Anyway Hui Wen, Tze and I gingerly sat down at the side next to them, feeling like shitheads for crashing people’s birthday and talked to Kenny and Su Ann.

But Fatty kept craning his neck over other people to talk to us!  I think he was trying to make us feel at ease since we were practically strangers to everyone else.  So the first impression I got of Fatty was that he was this extraordinarily friendly guy wearing a shirt with ugly cutting wtf.

I thought he was too nice to be true wtf cos I told him I was looking for a joband he offered to send my resume in to some people he knew.  Where got people so nice offer to help people when they first meet! Imagine if he offered to help everyone he first met like that, he’ll probably have to sit in front of the fax machine whole day faxing resumes wtf.

But as it turns out, he did send my resumes in and I got a job 🙂

Then there’s some discrepancy here.  Fatty insists that I asked him for his MSN address so I could send him my resume.  But this is so not true.

I remember very clearly that I got his email address so there was no need to send him anything on MSN.  I’d already emailed him my resume.  But a few days later I got an MSN request from him.

And maybe because I was still unemployed and thus had a lot of free time, we started talking on MSN.  He turned out to be very intelligent although he said he doesn’t like reading wtf and he taught me a lot of things I didn’t know.  He was also very different from other guys I knew… maybe because at that point he already knew what he wanted to do with his life.  I was 23 and all my friends were 23 and none of  us knew where we were going.

I guess we must have talked a lot because I remember Fat Her asking me once “Who is this fella why you always talk to him on MSN?” and I replied “my new friend” wtf little did I know.

Anyway we started hanging out more and more, but usually with other people.  We were very good friends but nothing happened. He may have said a few cryptic things about relationships but because I’m not the kind of person who thinks too much about things, I didn’t think about it -_-

But one day when we were both in Penang (with our respective families) we met up.  And for some reason which I can’t remember now, he brought me to his house.  And met his dad OMGWTFBBQ.  Later he told me he was testing water with his family why cheat me like this!!!!!

And on the same trip, he asked me out for dinner and took me to a super romantic restaurant in Batu Feringghi.  And the rest is history.

P1060291

Fatty and I are two extremely different people.  And we were even more different three years ago!  When we first started going out, I was 23 and he was 24.  We liked each other and could hang out together just talking for hours and hours and that was enough at that point.  I don’t think we ever thought about a future and definitely not about marriage.

How were we different ah.  First of all, he didn’t laugh at my stupid jokes!!! For example the extremely lame ones where I usually nudge people and say “GEDDIT GEDDIT”, he’d just go “hmm” and change the subject WTF. I thought that even though he was smart, he had the most hopeless sense of humor in the world.

2ndly, on weekends he’d wake up at 7am GOOD GOD. Who does that? Our time difference was off by at least 5 hours.  Thirdly he is super organized and meticulous and plans every single thing in his life to a… P (for plan).  Even going for a movie he’d need to know the time, day, place and what movie.  While for me I needed just to wake up and roll over to wherever we were planning to meet then decide what to do.

And 4thly, he was (and still is ) extremely romantic and thoughtful.  While I am cold and act macho and have the romantic capacity of a slug.

P1010167

Three years later, he laughs at ALL my jokes!!! #successkid.jpg.  I think it’s because he finally dumbed himself down to my level -_-  And if he didn’t hear or didn’t laugh enough, I nudge him “GEDDIT GEDDIT” so he can laugh again and satisfy me WTF.  I think he also used to be more serious but he’s sillier now so I think I was a good influence 😀

Now instead of waking at 7am, he wakes up at 9-10am and quietly goes off to the next room to play Starcraft or Battlefield or whatever until I wake up.  Our time difference has been reduced to 2-3 hours.

And thirdly, he is still super organized and meticulous and still plans everything.  The difference now is that I’ve learned to plan more instead.  I learned to appreciate punctuality and to never let myself be late (when before I was never early for anything).  He also taught me to think about the future more (although not sure how much of that I learned) and he showed me new ways of looking at things (although we still disagree on a lot of topics, for a lot of other things we’ve learned to meet each other in the middle)

Oh and while still quite unromantic, I’ve learned to think more about him and do more things for him. *girlfailure

Oh ya I also changed his dressing because when I met him all his shirts were ugly and about a billion years old!  I threw them out, bought him new stuff and instilled a love of shopping in him <3  So now when girls compliment him on his shirt or whatever he says to me “see you created a monster” WTF hahahahaha idiot.

Every day is something new for us, even if we’re just having dinner together after work and bitching about our days.  I never get tired of talking to him and even shit chores like buying groceries or mopping the floor becomes fun(ny) when we do it together.

And now there’s a million days more ahead of us 😀 that is if one of us doesn’t die suddenly WTF CHOI TOUCH WOOD.

And that’s the story of Fatty and Shorty.

Go here for Fatty’s version of events.

AudRubbish

Aku sebuah papan apung

Aku sebuah papan apung berwarna biru.  Aku dilahirkan di sebuah kilang di Negeri Cina.  Nama saya Speedo wtf.

Saya duduk di kapal terbang dan dibawa ke negara yang dipanggil Malaysia.  Saya dipamerkan di kedai Speedo di Pavilion.  Saya sangat gembira sebab kedai saya cantik wtf.

Pada suatu hari, ada satu si pendek masuk kedai ingin beli papan apung sebab dia sudah gemuk dan tidak sihat dan tidak ingin mati cepat.  Dia mahu berenang tapi takut rambut dia tukar warna so dia nak beli papan apung supaya kepalanya tak akan masuk air.  Si Pendek mengambil aku sebab harga saya sudah yang paling murah wtf.  Saya terus jatuh cinta dengan Si Pendek itu.  Nasib baik tak ada persaingan dari papan apung yang lain sebab kita semua warna biru yang sama.

Si Pendek terus membeli saya ^______^

Tak sampai 30 saat pun, Si Pendek keluar dari kedai Speedo dan ternampak kedai Sun Paradise di depan.  Omaigat ini mungkin bad news untuk saya wtf.

Dia terus masuk kedai itu dan ternampak papan apung yang berwarna merah jambu dan terus jatuh hati terhadapnya. T_______T Lebih-lebih lagi papan apung berwarna merah jambu yang bastardo itu lebih murah RM15 FTS T___________T

Nasib baik teman lelaki Si Pendek yang bernama Si Gemuk kata “jangan lah…” Saya sokong Si Gemuk.

Tapi Si Pendek tak peduli dan masuk balik kedai Speedo FTS.  Dia cuba cari benda untuk tukar dengan saya.  Contohnya sepasang selipar haih standard saya memang jatuh. Sedih.

Nasib baik sekali lagi Si Gemuk kata “tak payah tukar la” dan Si Pendek pun tak dapat cari apa-apa yang dia mahu beli. #successkid.jpg

Tapi aduhai Si Pendek terus balik rumah dan kata kepada Si Gemuk bahawa hanya ada satu jalan.  Iaitu saya rosak dengan cepat baru dia boleh beli yang baru WTF.  Dia cuba baca tengok samada saya ada tarikh kelupusan ke tidak WTF.  Nasib baik saya memang tahan lasak dan tak ada tarikh luput.

Tiba-tiba Si Pendek terbaca arahan tertulis di badan saya yang kata saya tak boleh diletakkan di bawah cahaya matahari untuk terlalu lama.  Dan dia tersenyum wtf.

Tamatlah cerita aku di sini.

English translation – this story was based on the “I am a…. ” essays primary school teachers used to force kids here to write.

I am a blue floating board.  I was born in a factory in China.  My name is Speedo wtf.

I sat on a plane and was brought to a place called Malaysia.  I was displayed in a Speedo store in Pavilion.  I was very happy cos my shop is very nice wtf.

One day, this short person came into the store wanting to buy a float because she’s fat and unhealthy and doesn’t want to die early.  The shorty wanted to swim but scared her hair change color which is why she wanted to buy a float so her head won’t go underwater.  Shorty took me because my price was the cheapest wtf.  I straightaway fell in love with Shorty.  Luckily there was no competition from other floats because we were all the same blue color.

Shorty bought me ^_____^

Not even 30 seconds later, Shorty exited Speedo and saw the shop Sun Paradise in front.  Omaigat this could be bad news for me.

She straightaway went into the shop and saw a pink flotation device and fell in love with it T_________T Some more the pink bastard float was cheaper by RM15 T___________T

Luckily the shorty’s boyfriend, Fatty, said “it’s ok….” I support Fatty!!!

But Shorty didn’t care and went back to the Speedo store FTS.  She tried to find something to exchange me for.  For example …. a pair of slippers haih my standard really dropped.  Sad.

Luckily again Fatty said “don’t need to exchange la” and Shorty also couldn’t find anything to exchange with.#successkid.jpg

But sucks to be me Shorty went home and said to Fatty that there’s only one way.  Which is that I spoil fast so she can buy the pink one WTF.  She tried to check if I had an expiry date WTF.  Luckily I am very good quality and have no expiry date.

Suddenly Shorty read the instructions on me which says I cannot be put under direct sunlight.  And she smiled.

Thus here ends my story.

True story.  Went to buy a float so I can swim with my head above water for the sake of exercise and maintaining my hair color -_-

Went into the first store and bought the cheapest float I saw.  Damn angry when I walked out and saw a cheaper float in pale pink my favorite shade ever T______________T

Super hate it when the things I buy are functional yet not cute.  If I’m going to spend money might as well make sure what I buy is aesthetically pleasing right! Some more more expensive!!!!111

Now I’m stuck with a fugly float wtf.

At first didn’t want to blog about wanting to destroy the blue float so I can buy a new one cos everyone will think I’m crazy!!!! (to a certain extent yes la)

But when Fatty narrated the story above from the point of view of Speedo the Float in Malay I found it damn cute and started to feel sorry for the Speedo and had to blog it hahahahaha.  Fatty blogged about it here too his description of what happened is better.

Appropriately categorized as AudRubbish.