Funny Fat Her stories

Fat Her and the Google Home

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This here, folks, is a Google Home. (I’m linking it here not cos I’m sponsored but so that I don’t need to explain what it is hahaha)

Karthik gave it to us as a gift cos you know he works at Google and so he’s this huge Google advocate.

Google Home is basically the Google version of Siri or Alexa and you can hook it up so it’s connected to and controls your household functions.  We haven’t done much to it yet so it’s so far hooked up to our TV only.

But you can still do quite a bit with it.  You can speak to it and ask it questions.  And of course we use it to turn on Netflix or certain movies for the kids.  There’s also a game called Akinator where you think of a character or person and Google basically asks a bunch of yes-no questions which you’re supposed to answer, and through some elimination algorithm, guesses correctly your person.

Fighter loves this game.  So far he’s asked Google, and Google has guessed correctly probably the only two famous people he knows – Superman and Psy. Hahahahah.

Penny doesn’t understand this yet wtf.

This is not a story about Google Home.  This is a Funny Fat Her Story (see blog categories wtf).

So my parents were over the other day and Fatty was showing them our Google Home.  He suggested they play Akinator so my mom went first.  I can’t remember who she picked already but as usual Google Home got it right and everyone was laughing and amazed with it.

Then suddenly my dad piped up. “Okay okay my turn! I got a good one. Fighter will love this.”

He proceeded to play Akinator and answer the questions Google posed to him ….. until I realized that the person he was thinking of was Fighter WTF.

“Eh Daddy is your person Fighter!?”

“Yes!”

“WTF you’re not supposed to pick a person that nobody knows!!!! How is Google supposed to guess who is Fighter!?”

“Huh we know him what.”

OMG HAHAHAHAHAHA I was super annoyed but also cannot stop laughing hahahahaahha.

Some more when Google asked, “Is this person on Youtube?”, my dad answered, “Yes” because of my vlogs WTF HAHAHAHAHA LAUGH DIE ME.

And you know the best part is?  Because I was berating my dad that he needs to pick someone famous, for a few days after that Fighter has been asking me: “Mommy, why am I not famous? How to become famous?” Thanks dad.

And that is a Funny Fat Her Story for you.

****

Sorry I haven’t been blogging! I think this is my longest hiatus yet.  I’ve been super super busy and when I had time I just wanted to watch Westworld or The Handmaid’s Tale you can blame TV for my absence wtf.

But this week is the last week before our deadline to finish Colony Eco City!  Watch out for a blog post or another vlog when it’s done.  Until then babai.

P/S: If you still want to see what I’m the kids are up to, there’s always Instagram Stories!  @fourfeetnine yo.

 

AudDomestic

Our house got burgled and we didn’t know it for one day

The title is self explanatory but our house was burgled recently! And yea, I didn’t know it until a day later. O_O

On Friday night, Fatty and I went for dinner and a movie.  We got home right before the clock struck midnight.  As usual, I went to check on both kids whose rooms are downstairs.  Both of them sleeping peacefully.  Then I took my laptop from the dining room table and headed upstairs to our room.

Right in the middle of my bed, I saw this.

My handbag was sitting in the middle of my bed.  I haven’t used this bag for a year or two and it’s always been sitting on a shelf in my closet.  I was out most of the day and when I was at home, I was downstairs with the kids mostly.  I remember going upstairs briefly though before I left the house for dinner, around 7.30 pm.  I was meeting Fatty for dinner and went up to get some eye drops for him from a drawer in our dressing area.  I probably went straight in and turned on the light in the closet instead of our bedroom.  So I didn’t see if the bag was already there before I went for dinner.

I picked it up and inspected the inside. Nothing but a dust bag.

3TFeeling slightly weird, I headed to our dressing area.  Two days before I had received a huge box of goodies from Shiseido, and I knew those were sitting in a tray on my dressing table.  My parents had also come over that day and my mom had passed me a stack of angpaus from her relatives over CNY which she had forgotten about.  I remember seeing that morning that our helper Dada had placed the angpaus in the tray together with the Shiseido stuff.

Now the stack of angpaus was missing.

I also had another angpau filled with petty cash that was on my table.  The angpau packet was still there, but it was empty.

I noticed a few other things.  Another one of my handbags on my shelf, I remember leaving a RM50 note in it for emergencies.  The money was missing.  There was a stray ring on the floor, next to my wardrobe.  The ring was costume jewelry, but I kept it in an acrylic accessories drawer next to my dressing table.  It looked like someone had ransacked my accessories drawer and the ring had flown out, but when I checked my jewelry, nothing was missing.

And the worst thing of all.  I kept a little velvet pouch in my makeup drawer that contained a gold bangle that my mom had given me when I got married. T_____T It has a lot of meaning to me cos my mom had the exact same bangle but bigger, when I was growing up and I always associated it with my mom, femininity and elegance.  And when I got married, Mummy Ooi got it for me. T3T  In the pouch was also a gold screwdriver that I used to tighten the screws on another bangle I wear.  Both were gone.

At first I was confused, thinking that maybe I had taken out the pouch by myself and forgotten.  I couldn’t believe that my bangle would be taken and felt like it should still be in my drawer.  Nothing else was amiss, and the kids and our helpers were sleeping peacefully.

Was it our helpers!?  I opened my CCTV app on my phone and started to watch through the whole day – hours of footage. O_O  The thought that it could be my helpers was intensely troubling considering that we treated them like friends and family; they had worked with us for years and I trusted them completely.  The CCTV footage didn’t show anything out of the ordinary, but who else could it be? And why would they leave my bag on my bed when it was so suspicious?  Did one of them want to frame the other or something!? I ended up sleeping at 3 am cos I was struggling with all these questions . T3T

The next morning, I gathered my courage, and managed to ask nonchalantly enough, “Dada, did you see the stack of angpaus on my table?”

Dada’s response was genuine surprise and confusion. She said she had placed the angpaus together with my Shiseido haul and I knew she did.  If she was planning to steal, why would she place it there only to take it later?  Dada quickly called Gaston, who stared at me in dismay. “I heard footsteps upstairs at about 11 pm,” she said.

I waved my hand dismissively. “That was just us walking around. We were back by then.”

Fatty who was listening, suddenly looked up. “Come to think of it, I noticed our window was open when we got home.”

O_________O

We rushed back upstairs to check the window, and sure enough we saw…

The lock on our window was loose, as though it had been pried loose.  And there was the faintest mud mark on the window sill.

So it was a burglar after all!  He was probably rifling through my handbag and had to leave in a hurry, thus leaving my bag plonk on my bed.

My first reaction was RELIEF!  I was just so happy that it wasn’t Dada or Gaston!!!  Not just the legal aspect of it – having to file a report, fire them, etc but for years they had taken care of my family, and we also took care of them and their families.  We’d lived together for years and they’re really part of our family too.  Their betrayal would have been too painful to bear.

I was also relieved cos although the burglar came in, they clearly didn’t exit our bedroom nor did they hurt the kids or the helpers.  Plus just that day, we had our safe (which was malfunctioning) opened by a locksmith and Gaston had placed the contents of it into a paper bag in our guest room, and it was intact.  The burglar(s) probably didn’t even leave our room so they didn’t see it.  I was relieved and grateful for that.

Our loss of cash was a few hundred ringgit la, and the bangle which is worth a few thousand at least. They didn’t even take our laptops or Fatty’s watch which were laying about the room.  Those would have been a bitch to replace. Maybe they only wanted small items that were easily carried.  Only sad thing is the wedding bangle really, and the fact that I gotta use my thumbnail to screw my love bangle now hahahaha.

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Checked our balcony to see how the fella could have climbed up, although we live on the third and highest floor.  See the two faint footprints on the white?  They’re probably his.

Later, we found out that our neighbor who lived directly under us also had his house burgled.  To add insult to injury, they drank his milk from his fridge and rudely left the half finished milk in his bedroom LOL.

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For some reason, the burglar also stole his wife’s red jacket and his Hush Puppies sling bag, which he’s wearing here LOLOL.

And yes, that is condo CCTV footage.  Our security guards managed to apprehend the guy actually!  When he returned a few nights later. O_O  Damn daring aih.  They handed him over to the police.

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And then a few days later, they caught his accomplice, also trying to climb over the fence. D:

Again I was relieved.  I was worrying that the burglars would try to break in again, since they already knew our house and probably its weak points, so it was good to know they wouldn’t be trying it again.  But on the other hand, I felt sorry for them too.  They are just petty burglars.  I’m not saying they weren’t breaking the law, but …. what was their situation that they turned to petty crime and they got caught like that? :/  Nobody wants to resort to a life of crime to get by, do they?  Not unless they’re our former Prime Minister la and even then he wasn’t just exactly getting by. *side eye*

But then.  I am changing our locks.

AudVerbalDiarrhea

My PACA experience

PACA stands for Polling Agent/Counting Agent.  I’m not clear at all about how other countries run their elections, but in Malaysia, while the Election Commission runs the general election, volunteers become Polling Agents and Counting Agents to observe the election process and the counting process, and ensure that everything is done as per the law.  This is very important because in the past (and I can speak freely now!), our ruling party Barisan Nasional had been caught with their pants down, pushing in boxes of fake ballots to manipulate the votes, among other dirty tactics.

Anyway this is the story of how I came to join the PACAs

In March this year, my friend Oy Sim contacted me and asked me if I’d be interested to be a PACA.  She sent me a bunch of links explaining what was required of a PACA and asked me to let her know. Honestly, reading the job scope, I was so intimidated that I wanted to say no right away.  But I held back.  And I whatsapped Oy Sim, “OK I’ll do it.”

I think Oy Sim was surprised cos she said, “Wow! You’re the first person I’ve contacted to reply me so positively.”

What had I gotten myself into?!

I had to laugh at that.  I told her, actually I very lazy to do it but because I complain so much about the government and always ask for change, now I actually have the chance to do something about it, how to say no!?  It’s a matter of principle already.

So I signed up for it, went for training and everything. I volunteered under Maria Chin Abdullah, which means I was a PACA in her constituency of Petaling Jaya, alongside fellow alums from Mount Holyoke.  Oy Sim is a fellow alum too so she pulled the bunch of us in.  I ended up taking on two shifts – the first shift (8-10 am) and the last shift (3-5 pm).  I would also go on to be Counting Agent (CA) for the tallying of the votes that would run from 5 pm until whenever.

On Polling Day, we had to meet at our station before 7 am; polling would run 8 am – 5 pm.  I planned to leave my house at 6 am (just in case I got delayed on the way) so the night before at 10.30 pm, I got ready for bed (after watching Dr M’s address wtf).

Penny woke up crying. -_-

Settled her and went back to my room at about 11, thinking never mind I still got 6.5 hours of sleep.  Cos the next day I need to be on constant vigilance ok I need as much rest as possible.

At 11.20 she woke up screaming again. T_________T

She wasn’t going back to sleep, so I brought her up to my room so at least I could sleep even if she wasn’t.  After a while I dozed off… then she woke me up again with her fidgeting. Oh god.

After I woke up, I couldn’t go back to sleep anymore.  I tried walking around, meditating, drinking a warm drink, even took a melatonin pill.  Nothing worked and I think I had maybe two hours of sleep that night.

The next morning, I was pumped though!  I thought for the first time in my life, I thought I’d need a coffee but adrenaline took care of it for me.  I met up with my team and we scouted the center, and went through some last minute revision of our job.  I was honestly very worried about making a mistake and costing the loss of a political seat.

My center happened to be in a university so our saluran  was in a dewan.  I entered and the seat closest to the three kerani (clerks) was already taken up by the PAS PACA.  So I sat in the middle seat while the BN PACA took the last one.

The PACAs’ job is to observe the entire process and make sure everything is done as per the law.  So we had to observe the three clerks – make sure Kerani 1 read out the IC number and name of each voter as they came in and crossed it off the electoral roll, make sure the person fits his identity – had to do some racial and age profiling here.

Then we watched as Kerani 2 dipped the voter’s finger in indelible ink and made sure the ink was visible and not wiped off.

Third, we observed Kerani 3 stamp the ballot paper, fold it and tear it off.  Kerani 3 is not supposed to have writing utensils so we watched for that too.

This is not an exhaustive list or else I’d have to publish the whole manual book here but it was roughly what we did.  My saluran was aged 40-60 years, and there was a neverending line of middle aged people.  I was basically on high alert continuously as voters streamed in, focusing on every step of the voting process, while at the same time crossing off their names and counting the number of voters to make sure it would tally at the end.

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After my morning shift, it was time for myself to vote! I drove back to my parents’ house and picked Ooib up cos we were voting at the same center – our old high school.

This was about 11+ and it took us 15 minutes to get in and out!

Done! Fingers before it turned a corpse like black wtf.

Went for lunch with Ooib and Sherlyn then headed back to my PACA center to prepare for my next shift, at 3 pm.

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See finger black already.  This was the outfit I’d chosen for my PACA role lol.  I thought we would be in a regular classroom instead of a air conditioned hall so I chose to wear something covered up and comfortable, yet not too casual or hot.  End up I froze in the damn dewan cos it was so cold!  I borrowed friends’ jacket and wool scarf and wrapped myself up in a cocoon also cold.  I was so cold the markings I made when we were counting votes also crooked hahaha.

There was a lot less people coming in after 3 pm so I had the chance to take a breather and look around.  My KTM (Presiding Officer) confessed it was his first time too so he kept flipping through his KTM manual hahaha.  The BN PACA looked slightly intimidating, but my PAS counterpart turned out to be a very friendly mother of two who was also inexperienced, so we ended up helping each other quite a lot. ^^

I don’t think the KTM liked me too much though, cos I was super kan cheong about everything.  The most important form is Borang 14 but there were other forms as well and I was very worked up about getting everything right.  I went and reminded the KTM about the forms so many times I think he wanted to punch me hahaha.  Luckily I had the PAS PACA and her colleague to help (for some unknown reason, both PAS PACAs had authorization to count), and the colleague was experienced.  The KTM seemed to feel more comfortable talking to the experienced PACA (maybe chauvinism a bit) but he helped me a lot so I’m not complaining.

Counting was actually pretty straightforward and not the ball-cringer I expected it to be.  Sometimes they count the Parliament and State seats simultaneously but for my saluran, they did it consecutively thank goodness.  I kiasu-ly pulled a desk and chair up right in front of Maria’s ballot box, wrapped my blanket tighter around myself, and we got started.

All the PACAs were counting as the votes were being read out and it was clear from the start that Maria would sweep the votes.  Same went for the DUN, Dr Shaharuddin Baharuddin.  Every time the clerk read out “PKR”, she’d inadvertently glance at me and I felt like I needed to give her a response.  So I’d give her a tiny smile or nod every time, before jotting a mark on my sheet.  Since the other PACAs had less votes and less marks to make, I’m sure I looked smug and deserving of a face punch.

Both PKR candidates won by a landslide.  There was some minor conflict when the KTM told us he wouldn’t be signing our own copies of Borang 14, but we could take a photo of his.  I hurriedly whatsapped my team who promptly sent me screenshots of election laws stating that all counting agents must have their own copy of the Borang 14, signed by the KTM and all the other CAs. Following meekly behind the PAS PACA, we showed the KTM the laws and he relented. Yay!

By the time we finished calculating, making sure the numbers added up, signed off the forms, and watched as the clerks sealed the ballot boxes, then signed the boxes again, it was 9.30 pm when I left the hall.  The other two salurans weren’t even done yet!

At that point, I was so cold my nails were blue, hungry cos I hadn’t eaten anything except a pastry my PACA head passed me, and my brain was fried.  But as I walked out of that hall, brandishing my signed Form 14, Oy Sim who was waiting for me asked me how it went.  I told her I’d do it all over again.  Whatever happened from then on, we had done our best.  At least for Seri Setia, Saluran 2, I know no hanky panky went down on election day. 🙂

P/S: When I told Oy Sim I would do it again next election, she said ok they’d send me to Sarawak. LOL.

 

AudEmo AudVerbalDiarrhea

On May 9 2018

I don’t remember when exactly I started paying more attention to Malaysian politics but it must have been at some point in my four years at college in the US.

I remember sitting in my dorm room with Suet, both of us in yellow clothing for solidarity, crying while reading updates on my laptop as the first ever Bersih rally unfolded in KL.  I’d majored in Asian Studies with a focus on history, and was in the middle of writing my honors thesis on ketuanan Melayu.

Half a year later, again we watched from a distance as for the first time ever, BN lost the two thirds majority in Parliament for the first time.  Again, I cried, this time for hope.  Two months later, I finished my thesis, and when presenting it to my advisor, embarrassingly started crying again in his office.  Luckily I received honors for it hahahaha.

After coming home, I made it a point to attend the consequent Bersih rallies.  I voted for the first time in the 13th GE in 2013.  I was pregnant with Fighter then, and very hopeful for the future.  When the opposition failed to win the government, I, like many others I’m sure, was devastated.  I felt that momentum was at its peak then, and we wouldn’t get another chance.  Anwar was jailed, the opposition was in tatters; I thought this was the end for an effective opposition to BN.

In the last five years, I confess I cut myself off from local news.  I stopped paying attention whenever a minister spoke because I knew it would be something difficult to hear, and I couldn’t deal anymore, especially with the casual racism they spouted.  I vaguely knew that elections were due soon, but I focused on world news over what was happening in our own country, and didn’t give our politics more thought.

Elections rolled around and a friend contacted me, asking if I would be interested in being a PACA (Polling Agent/Counting Agent) for Maria Chin Abdullah who would be contesting for a parliamentary seat in Petaling Jaya.  At this point I had no idea there even existed such a thing as a PACA.  I was feeling very meh about local politics and I definitely didn’t feel like doing what sounded like an incredibly stressful job, in addition to voting.  But I couldn’t say no either.  I had been unhappy with our policies and government for years — I’d wanted change so badly ever since I was old enough to vote.  And now I had a chance to make a change — or contribute towards making a change.  Didn’t I have an obligation to do so?  And if I didn’t, wouldn’t that make me a hypocrite?

So I resignedly registered for PACA training.  Because there’s nothing I hate more than being called a hypocrite LOL.

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With my PACA teammates, who are all from Mount Holyoke College lol figures.  Hi Fardina, Oy Sim and Sin Seanne!

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On Polling Day, I went to vote.  And I carried out my duties.  Nothing too controversial occured, and soon it was 5 pm – time to start counting the votes.

I was fairly confident that my candidate, Maria Chin, would win, since PJ is an opposition stronghold. She did win! ^^  By the time we finished, it was 9.30 pm and I was dead on my feet.  I was freezing from sitting in a subartic dewan the entire day, I hadn’t had dinner except for a pastry, plus I’d been basically hypervigilant since early morning.  When counting was over, I checked my phone and saw a Whatsapp from Fatty: XXX (some seat I don’t remember) is won by BN.

This confirmed what I’d believed in the days leading up to the election.  Everyone in Malaysia heard about the gerrymandering – unfair redrawing of electoral lines in order, setting election in the middle of the week, the dirty tactics employed by the ROS, the EC and dunno what other government bodies la.  Based on what happened the last GE, we also fully expected BN to cheat all the way – ‘blackouts’, fake ballot  boxes pushed in at the last minute, vote buying, politician buying, etc.  I had almost no hope that anything would change this election; what more with the practice they had five years ago, I expected BN to finetune their tactics and win even bigger.  We’d also been hearing that voter turnout this year was lower than the last, which further reinforced that PH was going to lose.

I drove home.  I turned on the radio and listened to smarmy radio announcers announce win after win for Barisan Nasional, noting how they played up BN wins, and minimized Pakatan ones.  We live in the heart of KL and I drove by police setting up roadblocks in front of Dataran Merdeka.  My parents had warned of the possibility of riots or a state of emergency in the wake of the election since tensions were so high so I was pretty worried.

At home, I drank some soup and took a shower, ready to crawl into bed.  I wasn’t thinking about the results, didn’t want to think about yet another defeat.  Then Fatty came down to the kitchen, holding his phone.  He was just on the phone with his mom, he said.  Some of his relatives are friends with Penang DAP people, and apparently the PH crew in Penang had already received unofficial results that PH had won the federal government and were already celebrating in a hotel.

I was like, WHAT ON EARTH. NO WAY JOSE.  Simply celebrate so prematurely for what, results also not out yet!?

Then we pulled up Malaysiakini and saw this.

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Fatty marveled, for the first time we see Pakatan leading Barisan.  To me it was still too premature.  I remember seeing Pakatan lead BN too five years ago before everything went to shit.

But then more and more information started circulating on social media and whatsapp.  With the rest of Malaysia, we stayed up, refreshing the poll results.  From inconceivable rumors about Pakatan winning, the truth seemed to solidify in front of our eyes as the Pakatan seat counter crept upwards.  When the Election Commission halted announcing official results some time after midnight (because they were all refusing to sign Form 14, shitheads), I gave up and fell asleep.

The next morning, I heard Fatty stir.  I was about to go back to sleep when I suddenly remembered – the election!!! I jerked up and said, how how?  Fatty said, Pakatan Harapan won.

Grabbed my phone, and the rest is history.

It’s still surreal.  I can’t believe we have a new government now and that it was even possible to change our leadership.  It’s been three days since Malaysia did the impossible and overthrew the shackles of a corrupt, ruthless, tyrannosaurus rex tyrant and his government.  We’ve all been glued to our devices as more and more drama unfolded, and it’s not over yet!  But I want to blog a bit about what I’ve been feeling and thinking these three days.

The world is a brighter place

I’m serious hahahaha.  The world actually seems better and brighter.  I find myself smiling more at strangers on the street now… and they smile back!  I give way more on the road… only to be taken advantage of by taxi drivers as usual.  But I’m still happy. ^^  We nod at each other’s ink-blackened fingers and I try to ignore those with clean digits hahaha.  A Facebook friend even commented his food tastes nicer now with a new government LOL.  That’s taking it a bit too far la, but I do sense the optimism and reignited passion in people around me.

We feel freer

I kid you not.  Although the laws haven’t changed, people are already feelin’ it bruh.  *I* definitely feel it.  People around me – my brother being one of them – have mentioned it as well.   It’s incredible but somehow knowing that Pakatan has pledged to uphold and restore freedom of media and speech, it’s as if a literal weight has been lifted off my chest.  I feel freer to express myself already, not even just with this blog post but for everything that I say to my friends and family.  Is it possible that the lack of freedom of speech had affected me for most of my life without me even realizing?  Yes.

I feel like I can do more

Maybe it’s the fact that we did what we thought was insurmountable – we changed our government peacefully and democratically, without bloodshed or violence.  Maybe it’s the fact that a 92 year old man can thrive on less sleep than me and do things I could never have done.  I’m a terrible procrastinator, and I don’t like risk at all.  So I’ve been putting things I really want to do on the back burner just because I’m scared of failure.  But now I feel anything is possible!  Dreams suddenly seem far more achievable and that goes a long way to tamping down any fear that I may have… because if I can do this, why can’t I go after what I want to do?

In fact, a friend asked us if we would now consider taking a pay cut or changing careers to help develop the nation.  I would!  With the old government, there was a sense that nothing we did would affect anything, but many Members of Parliament seem intelligent, approachable and open.  I will never join politics la wtf but if I could find a chance to help with nation building, yes I’d be very interested wtf.

I’m so glad i voted and was a PACA 

Because I can say I was a little part of history!!! Yea la, I gotta admit I’m proud of myself too LOL.  I really didn’t want to do it and I forced myself to, but I’m so glad I did.  At the end, my head PACA asked me if I  had fun and I said yes I’d totally do it again.  It was tiring and stressful, but it was also fun and fulfilling – knowing that I was helping to make things right and fair, and doing it well.  Then she said ok onz next time we send you to Sarawak FML.

I know people who didn’t vote feel bad about not getting involved but that’s okay.  If you don’t care about not voting either, it’s also okay.  It’s our democratic right to vote, but it’s also our democratic right to not vote.  Truth be told, I was pretty upset with some people whom I knew weren’t voting, especially if they’d been hating on the government and country.  BUT.  It is their right not to, and people never stop learning.  Not voting today doesn’t mean they won’t vote tomorrow, and vice versa.  Calm down guys wtf.

We have a two party system now!!!!

Whatever happens, however Pakatan Harapan may perform, we effectively have a two party system now.  I believe people feel empowered now, that our voices make a difference and that the rule of the country actually belongs to us, not to our appointed leaders.  I don’t think (or at least I hope) that our government in the future (whichever party they may be) will dare to fuck up their mandate because now they’ve seen what can happen if they do.

I have a lot of hope for the future of Malaysia.  This election has restored my faith in democracy and Malaysians.  I’m being very honest here, and this may be sensitive.  I was never very proud to be Malaysian.  To people I met overseas, I never knew what to say about us except that we had the world’s tallest twin towers and we’re located above Singapore.  I loved Malaysia but I was not positive about my country.

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Today I am. I am proud to call myself Malaysian, and I am so proud to be from this country who came together to achieve what we had done on May 9, peacefully, calmly and with love for one another.  Not many countries can claim to have done the same, and not many can achieve this either.

WE DID IT!!!! This is for everyone who came together for this – for the millions of voters who turned out, the folk rallying others to go and vote, the awesome people behind #Pulangmengundi and #UndiRabu, the PACA teams, especially those in volatile areas, even the people who took it on themselves to safeguard the tallying centers from incoming bullshit ballots — I heard a group in Setia Alam even locked up the Elections Commission official for refusing to sign a legitimate Form 14 LOL. And lastly, thank you to the new leaders who we have so much hope for.  Also, we are watching you.

Uncategorized

Aud’s Political Manifesto

With General Election 14 coming up, everyone in Malaysia is caught up in election fever.  Even when we go to a kopitiam after market runs, there will be aunties and uncles from the next table randomly trying to engage us in political talk and tell me about Hannah Yeoh. Which can be slightly annoying if I’m just trying to eat my prawn mee wtf.

I (and everyone else) have been following political news closely la cos this GE is obviously going to be very kan cheong.  I also signed up to be a PACA (that’s Polling Agent Counting Agent) for the election Buddha help me.  I’ll probably blog about the experience after the election!  But reading news and political manifestos and all things related, I got to thinking — eh so fun to write your own manifesto!

So I decided to write my own wtf. Please keep in mind that this was written purely for jokes and reflects mostly pet peeves of mine.

Here it is.

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1.  You will be allowed to use copies of official identity documents to travel

If you don’t have your IC, MyKid (IC for kids in Malaysia) or birth certificate, you will be allowed to use a copy of your birth certificate for domestic flights. Hahahaha.  Ok la very far fetched and a threat to security but back  story is, in February, for some reason I thought we were permitted to travel using a copy of our birth cert and I brought a copy of Penny’s since I don’t know why we never received her MyKid.  We somehow got through on the flight to Penang but they barred us on the flight back to KL.  Thus ensued a vague parenting horror story where I had to run outside to the nearest police station to file a police report in order to get Penny on the flight home lolol.  For a more complete version of the story, see here.And yea I know la again — traveling on copies of official identity documents = security threat but this is my imaginary manifesto! It stays.

 

2. People who try to cut line on the road will be electrocuted.  Mandatory installation of electrocution devices in all steering wheels for this purpose.

Ok this is a major pet peeve of mine that causes me to pop blood vessels nearly every time I drive.  I hate hate hate it when there is a single lane lining up for something – usually to turn off – and people queue up on the second lane and try to cut in.  This is the same as cutting lines what! You wouldn’t just stand beside a line at say a supermarket and presume to cut in halfway right!? So why would you do that on the road!?

To turn in to the road that leads to our apartment, there is a small traffic light with one lane.  Meant for lining up in single file.  And every day at rush hour, fuckers will come on the second lane and try to cut in and basically save their own time, while wasting time for people like me who line up correctly.  It drives me mad!  I’ve fought with people at this traffic light — once I was driving and Fatty was in the passenger seat, and this guy tried to cut me from the left.  I wound down Fatty’s window, told Fatty to sit back so he wouldn’t block me, and shouted at the imbecile.  The idiot had the nerve to shout back at me!!! Why these people so rude already can still become ruder one!  I ended up playing a game of see-who-can-inch-their-car-ahead-faster and lost FML.  So I tailed him and honked him for some of the way after that omg hope my kids never read this.  Disclaimer: I admit to having extreme road rage at that moment and the only reason why I was so brave was that in the back of my mind, I had Fatty with me and if anything he can beat up the other guy #pleasedon’tlearnthisfromme

My behavior is not to be condoned but line cutting really gets me so worked up I fail to see reason wtf.  So if I had the rule of the country, I would make it that people who line up in double lane and try to cut line will be electrocuted.  I will make it mandatory to install electrocution devices in all steering wheels for this purpose.  So the minute the device detects this fella has cut law abiding people’s line, the steering wheel will emit a painful electrical shock and give the bad driver a free perm wtf.

 

3. The installation of automatic clamps hidden inside the tar on the sides of the roads for illegal parkers

Same goes for people who double park and block roads and cause traffic jams.  Sometimes our police and DBKL not efficient enough so I propose for inconsiderate fools who park illegally and block people’s way, the installation of automatic clamps inside the tar on the sides of the roads.  When the clamps detect a car parked there where it’s not supposed to (even if there’s someone inside), the clamp will trigger and rise up and clamp all four tires.  Take that beeches.

 

4.  It will be a crime to buy Instagram bots and fake followers

Under my manifesto, it will be a criminal offense to buy Instagram bots and fake followers. Lolol.  I am super uptight about fairness and justice so one of the things that really anger me is Instagram “influencers” buying bot services to increase their following.  It’s flat out cheating and conning people!  And it gets worse when unsuspecting brands and clients get fooled into thinking this influencer is more popular and influential than they really are and they spend their budget on these people.  So brands, please don’t be unsuspecting and do your research.

If I had my way, it would be a great big fine (and maybe a day in jail) for them.

 

5.  A government subsidy for strawberries

For purely selfish and shallow reasons because Penny is a glutton when it comes to “store bewwies” and she’s eating me out of house and home wtf.

 

6.  Okay point number 6 was supposed to be to commission a car manufacturers to design and produce a car that’s a smaller version of an Alphard or Hyundai Starex complete with sliding doors instead of doors that open outwards.  Cos I drive a van to ferry around the kids and I prefer smaller cars for easier parking la.  But I also love the handiness of sliding doors cos I can easily just push the kids into the car and get in after them, and take my time buckling them into their car seats.  With doors that open outwards I’m always damn scared a car drives by and takes my door off wtf.

Anyway I realized that Nissan already makes cars that fit my description so ok wtf.

 

7. All public toilets to be kept FOC, clean and dry.

For those people (ahem me) with Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  You can’t imagine the weirdest places I’ve had to go to the toilet in cos I suddenly came down with diarrhea *holds face in hands and weeps*  For my worst story ever, read here.

Also it will be a crime to deny toilets to people in need wtf.

Ok can’t think of anymore at the moment.

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This will be my campaigning photo.

Your humble servant,

Aud.

 

 

 

 

AudParenting

What do you want for your child?

Sorry I haven’t blogged in weeks!  And I’m not sure if this blog post will interest anybody except parents.  But maybe some parents won’t even be bothered and think I’m on a nutty rant wtf.  But here goes.

The other day, I received an Instagram DM from a friend….

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…in response to this video I’d posted on IG Stories.

…in response to this video I’d posted on IG Stories.

It’s Fighter ‘reading’ what I assume is Chinese prose from his textbook.  

Now I put the word reading in quotation marks cos I don’t think he’s really reading!  For all those of you who were impressed by his reading, sorry ah must disclaim first hahaha.  While I know he can read some words in Mandarin already and probably recognizes many from these two pages, I’m pretty sure he’s just reciting from memory the sounds that he’s learned.  Cos he definitely doesn’t understand what he’s saying himself lol.

Nevertheless, a lot of people are impressed that even if he’s not really reading, he’s doing so well in school, pronouncing his words flawlessly, and of possession of an impeccable memory etc.

But when my friend sent me that DM above, I felt like i really needed to talk about this wtf.  I haven’t blogged for two weeks now! So these two weeks I’ve actually been immersing myself in reading about kids and childhood and education *patriotic tune* Hahaha sometimes I can get super nerdy and obsessive one la wtf.  

A lot of moms around me have been sending Fighter and Penny’s peers to all sorts of enrichment classes!  As babies you start with Shichida and flash card classes (I swear they’re a thing just dunno what they’re called), then you move up to sports classes, language classes, and what not in addition to preschool and kindergarten.

Fighter and Penny are not exempt!  Fighter goes for two classes outside school – swimming, and reading & phonics.  Swimming because this is a life skill and his life could literally depend on it wtf.  Reading because that’s a skill very important to me, if not the most. I am a blogger after all wtf.

Penny goes for a weekly toddler gym which functions as a foundation to proper gymnastics.  The only reason she goes is because I heard they do a lot of stretching which could be good for Fighter’s growth.  I signed them both up but Fighter hated it so I dropped it. Ironically, Penny loves it so she’s been there ever since.  

Beyond that, Penny has asked for ballet classes and I’ve enquired, but I haven’t registered her for any.  And that’s it. Even then, I sometimes wonder if that’s too many classes at their age.

So my answer to the question is:

No. No tutors.  If I can help it, no tutors ever.

Because children need to play.

OK I can hear a lot of skeptics already wtf.  Playing is fine but so is self improvement and learning new skills and hitting early milestones…. right?? So let’s do an FAQ wtf.

Why should kids play?

Mixing with other moms through school, Dayre and other communities, I feel like there’s this huge rush to send children to enrichment classes.  Because we want our kids to learn, get a head start, and also thanks to peer pressure, we’re kiasu about staying on par with other children or better still surpassing their milestones.  

But so what if your kid can decipher flash cards? Or do mental math at three with Shichida?  Or read as a toddler? Do all these things really matter in the long run?

Play is important because that’s how we humans (and other mammals) learn.  When kids free play — that is, unregulated play, chosen by children themselves with no adult interference) — they learn how to use their imagination.  Imagination is not just for making up stories or pretending although these are certainly part of it. To be a successful adult, you need to have a strong imagination.  Imagination to devise creative solutions to problems, for example. Or if you were an architect, the imagination to design and build a house. Even scientists need imagination when they generate hypotheses.

Play develops children’s social skills.  Free play is democratic because it’s entirely up to each child to participate (or not).  When enough children are unhappy with one of their gang, they might stop playing, and children naturally want to play.  So to keep play going, children learn how to cooperate with each other, to compromise, share and even resolve conflicts.  Play is also how kids practice self control.

You know when kids pretend they’re building a real building with Lego?  Or they’re playing mommy and daddy with their teddy bears? Or even Star Wars characters?  They’re practicing real life. (Even if Star Wars and Batman isn’t real life wtf.) They reenact real life situations in a safer, “manageable”… version.  They digest real life scenarios and learn how to deal with them. They learn to master life challenges and the appropriate emotional responses to them.

I think this passage put it very clearly:

At real play, children are in charge, instinctively making hundreds of decisions as they assess and determine the levels of risk they want to take, physically, emotionally and socially: mastering, day by day, an increasing repertoire of skills, adding to their bank of experience.

Throughout the animal kingdom, the play of the young is commonly observed to be a rehearsal of life skills, fundamental for species’ survival. Human children are no different, needing the make-believe world of play to experience and master the fullest range of challenges – and their emotional responses to them – as a series of lessons for the world they will eventually have to negotiate for real.

So, through play, children acquire confidence, but also an awareness of limits and boundaries. They learn, in short, how to be safe.

 

(source)

 

Every parent wants something different for their children, but for me, I want my children to be emotionally and socially equipped for the world, to know how to get along with others, to be confident and aware, to take care of themselves,  to be wise. Academic skills are important but they will learn these eventually.  Let them play for now.

Why no tutors?

Because tutoring takes away time that could be spent playing.  And being creative.

Aren’t you scared they’ll fall behind?

Who say I don’t struggle with this!!  Everywhere around me, I see kids sent to tuition and organized classes and I have to swallow a bubble of panic that my kids are gonna get left behind wtf.  But we have to remember that while organized tuition has its merits, we cannot deny the importance of play. When we didn’t have all these classes what did humans do? They didn’t fall behind – they played to learn.  

Schools are getting harder today and yes there’s always the risk of them failing behind in school because they’re not getting extra tutoring.  But is this the education I want for them anyway? An education whose efficacy is based on standardization and testing but not necessarily actual learning and developing the love of learning?  What’s the purpose of tutoring besides prep them for good exam results? They learn for exams but forget everything immediately. Is that really learning?

I have no answers to these questions yet.  But i know that as of now I am unsatisfied that any school I’ve seen here will fulfil what I want for my kids.

Have you thought about what you want for your kids?

P/S: As you can probably already tell, I am a huge advocate of free play wtf.  My problem is that we live in a condo and our condo playground is always infested with mosquitos FOL.  We also live in the city which means having to drive out to go to a playground instead of just walking to the neighborhood playground which is what I did as a kid.  

But I’m trying to create the playground experience where kids just congregate in the neighborhood or the playground and free play without adults tagging along.  So I was thinking of setting up a play group and meet in a particular playground at certain times.  The kids can play and the grown ups can even set up a roster to watch them so that not every parents needs to be there.   We live in KL so a convenient location will probably be around Bangsar, Hartamas, Mont Kiara or TTDI.  If anyone is interested, email me and we can talk! Suggestions are welcome.  fourfeetnine[at]gmail[dot]com.

AudEveryday

March doings

It’s early April!  Which means it’s the beginning of the year for Japan time for March updates!

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In the beginning of the month, I looked like this. HAHAHAHA.  No reason for posting this other than it’s my blog and I like gratuitous pics of myself wtf.

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Anyway this was the day Sieu Eeverything Buddy TM and I had a mini flea to get rid of kids’ clothes and shoes (and also half of Sieu Ee’s ginormous wardrobe).  Here’s Penny with her coloring sheet which SE prepared for kids of moms who came for the flea.

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Fries over guys.

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The four of them playing some form of er chairs wtf.

This flea was…. so so.  Cos it was only me and Sieu Ee after all, and while we had a lot of stuff to sell, it’s only just two sellers.  So I was worried that if I broadcast it, that’d be not enough for everyone to buy.  So I ended up just inviting people who’d already messaged me to buy stuff.  I talked to like 70+ different people and most (like 3/4) said they were coming.

But very very few people came.  I think less than 10? 🙁  Wah write already sounds damn sad lolol.  I was initially very frustrated cos I was trying to be considerate to people, but end up backfire on myself wtf.  But aiya I now know that people don’t owe me to come anyway.  So next time I will share it out if I do another flea!

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Act photoshoot with the kids first wtf.

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I also registered Fighter for primary school! O_O Yea moms of younger kids, FYI primary school registration happens at age 5 ok this is a public service reminder wtf.

My face like this cos pretty stressful la filling in the forms and being scared he doesn’t get a spot hahaha.  Also that my firstborn is going to big school. T_________T Don’t grow up so quickly T________T

 

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One day when I was trying out some new lipsticks from Revlon.

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Went for a shorter beige cut!  Thanks to hair goddess Hikky.

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I’ve actually been very bad with events for the past few months. :/  Either I cannot make it, never make effort, or worse, last minute cancel due to the kids or work meetings.  But I’ve resolved to be more hardworking wtf and I made it for BCBG Max Azria the other day with Hui Wen!

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Here’s Penny on the day we threw a birthday party for her at home!

She’s with her cousin, baby Jack, whom I suspect she thinks of as her very own Baby Alive doll LOL.

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With all her friends hahaha.  She only wanted to invite girls. -_- The boys here are all people’s brothers hahahaha.

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I filled up the inflatable pool on the balcony, and threw in a bunch of water balloons and water guns and let the kids go crazy!

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Birthday girl with her favorite drink in the world (Milo).

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One of the presents she received was an art set!

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Her first freestyle art piece! ^^ I was so proud I kept it but last week I realized she somehow found the paper, stamped on it and tore it up WTF. -_- #mysteriesofathreeyearold

At least I will always have this photo wtf.

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Hanging with her BFF Mia.  Mia went for a trial ballet class and she showed Penny photos from there and now she won’t stop asking me to take her to ballet class wtf.

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On her actual birthday, we brought cupcakes, balloons and Koko to school to celebrate again with all her classmates!

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One of her other favorite foods – ikura wtf.

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Why do I have so many photos of Penny with ikura wtf.

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She actually came down with bronchitis two weeks back. T___T  Luckily she recovered really fast with the help of antibiotics, inhalers and medicine.

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Sick so she got to stay home at school.  She built this city and was very proud wtf.  Good use of time home from school I say wtf.

 

 

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Pic at work one day!  Visiting a prospective site for a new Colony. ^^

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And this was at Eco City.  Our cafe partner was taking measurements for their kitchen.

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Made it to a Shiseido launch this month too! On a roll yo wtf.

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And Three Cosmetics whose products I love!  The food served at the Three event was the best of any event too hahahaha cos it was all sushiiiiiii.

 

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Pierre and Lay See moved into their new home so there was a housewarming dinner!  In true Lay See style, she super overachiever with hosting hahahaha check out her beautifully set table. :O

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Oh this time she’s not sick ah wtf.  Just being whiny and refusing to eat dinner wtf.

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Became a panelist with Fatty at The Star’s Women’s Fiesta.  It was a very interesting experience cos the whole event really focused on women and our issues.  But I wish our panel got to speak more about female empowerment.  The words are super overused now but it’s an issue dear to my heart okay hahaha.

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And the finale…. Fighter and his little girlfriend hahahaha.

Ok the whole story is this.  One of his classmates had a birthday celebration in school so his parents came in to class to blow candles etc.  The mom saw Fighter and the girl he sits with, and managed to snap these super cute shots!!!

In school the kids get arranged in boy girl pairs, according to height.  So Fighter and SY are the shortest boy and girl so they sit together.

They get along very well apparently and now SY is calling him her boyfriend and she’s his girlfriend hahahaahha.  But they’re five la.  So boyfriend = friend who’s a boy, girlfriend = friend who’s a girl wtf.

To see the live action video of them (complete with subtitles) check out my Instagram!

AudBaby AudParenting

The day my son made me cry

As mom to newborn babies, I foolishly thought that this was as hard as it gets.  The sleepless nights, the mastitis, the pumping around the clock… Get past the newborn stage and you’re good, they said.

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They obviously don’t have five year old boys.

Dear Fighter,

You are four and a half years now, and you are in kindergarten!  Since you started your new kindergarten this year, I’ve been very proud of your progress and learning.  Your writing has improved so much and you’re starting to learn how to read CVC words!  You’re also maturing emotionally – it’s as if my manja, whiny baby disappeared overnight and in his place there’s this skinny little boy with a big smile, who understands logic and utters all these random ‘grown up’ phrases.

There’s one thing though.  Your new school is much bigger and his class is larger (twice the size actually) than in your old preschool so you’re exposed to a bigger variety of people.  And you’ve picked up some words to use when you’re upset, which makes me upset. :X

You have always been a sensitive and emotional child.  The good thing is that you’re very attuned to other people’s feelings.  The bad thing is that you know just how to press our buttons lolol.

The other day, you were angry at Gaston (our nanny) for something or other.  You came up to me and said, “I hate Gaston. I want her to die. I want to kill her.”

O_O

You’ve also started saying the same things to me and Daddy.  You want to kill us, want us to die, want to throw us in the dustbin wtf.  I’ve been dealing with it by being very calm and telling you we don’t talk like this in this family.  That if you insists on speaking like that, you’re welcome to leave the house.  I’ll even pack you bag for him to leave wtf.

You get damn scared la every time lol.  You’d burst into tears and say you didn’t want to leave.

But then the next time you got upset, you would do it all over again.

But one day, something you did managed to get into me.

We were in Penang for Mama’s birthday.  Both you and Penny were napping on our bed in the room, so I left the room and sat outside with my laptop to do some work.  At some point, you woke up and got a fright because you were alone in the room (albeit with your baby sister).

You burst through the door, crying and shouting.  I scooped you up and cuddled you but you refused to be comforted.

In your tears you yelled, “I am so angry at you! I want to throw you away!  You go out of the house! I pack your bags for you!” (lolol copy what I said to you before.)

I understood why you were upset.  You must have been very scared to find yourself alone when you woke up and you were venting your feelings on me.  I continued to hug you and said, “I’m sorry for leaving the room.  I didn’t know you would be scared.  Next time I will stay inside when you’re sleeping.”

That didn’t pacify you.  “Don’t do that again! Why you do that! I want to throw you in the dustbin! No I take you to the police station and they will put you in jail!” You got up and started pulling on my arm, as if really trying to drag me to the police station.

I lost my patience a little.  “Enough, Fighter.  I already said I’m sorry and I am.  You’re going overboard.” I raised my finger and looked at you sternly.

You burst into tears as you are wont to do when I get angry.  I took you on my lap and stroked your head and kissed you. “It’s okay, darling. I know you’re angry and it’s okay. I’m glad you used your words to tell me you were mad but you cannot throw people into the dustbin or say you hate them.”

You hugged me back and sobbed but gradually calmed down.  When you had finally stopped hiccuping, you sighed and said,

“Mommy. You know now I love you less.”

My darling, you’ve said so many things to me.  You said you hated me, you didn’t like me, you wanted to throw me away and put me in jail.  You’ve even said once that you wanted to slam me into the door.  I was taken aback because I knew you picked it up in school, since I monitor every cartoon you watch at home and you don’t watch anything remotely violent.  You’re even scared of cartoons (or Youtube ads) set in darkness wtf.

But nothing struck me in the heart like when you said you loved me less.

I’d never given a sh*t about what my kids say to me before because kids talk nonsense.  But that day, I don’t know if I was tired or I was sick or I was PMS-ing, but wetness pooled in my eyes and fell.

I hugged you tighter and said, “When you say that, you made me very sad. You have to be careful with your words because your words can make people happy or sad or angry.  Do you want to make people happy or sad?”

“Sad.” Defiant.

Penny on the other hand, crawled up to me and tried to cuddle me.  “I love you Mommy. Are you happy?” Super batu api your sister lolol.

I don’t really remember how we resolved it but I don’t think you apologized.  Instead you showed later that you were over it by hugging me and calling me to play with you.

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That day, we both learned something about each other.  I learned that the day you were born, my heart strings will forever be tied to yours.  You learned that you have the power to hurt me (and Daddy).  And I learned that I will have to just be consistent and keep loving you and teaching you to be a person who will wield the power you hold wisely.

Love, Mommy.

 

 

AudDesign AudSlave

What the second Colony will look like

Ok where do I start wtf.  I just went back and looked at my last few posts and they’re all super parenting and baby focused. O_O

I also got do other things with my life la hahaha.  Which is Colony la wtf.

We launched our first location in July, and we’ve actually been doing way better than we’d projected!  Um for details please ask Fatty cos I’m so bad at math I can’t even split a dinner with tax correctly FML.  Anyway it’s led to us scouting around for new locations as early as a few months after we first launched even. We’re also very lucky la cos a lot of property owners and developers approached us to open in their buildings too so we got to slowly look through and decide.

Second location has been decided though! It is…. *drumroll*

KL Eco City!

Eco City is in a prime location – opposite Midvalley and along Jalan Bangsar, and our building is just across the road from the Eco City KTM station!  We’ve secured five floors to make sure we have enough space for our signature facilities plus office space for members of course.

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Sneak peek of the space.  Yea nothing has been done yet hahahaha.  But I love this cos of the big windows and lots of natural light, and the high ceilings. <333

So this Colony was a whole new challenge.  I’m still super noob la in building spaces and I realized again that I know nothing Jon Snow wtf.

For example, our first Colony was originally a serviced office, which we took over.  A lot of things were already set up – in fact, the office suites were already all created, and what we did was modify those existing spaces and beautify them.

Eco City is a completely bare canvas.  So I had to start from scratch.  A lot of things that we didn’t do for the first space we had to start doing now.  Like apply for permits from DBKL and the Fire Department to start work (which we didn’t do for the first space cos that was all done by the landlord before).  I had to work with engineers to submit floor plans and technical drawings and I swear I had a brain bleed cos everything was so damn technical!

You know ah people always say I clever wtf and I am … only when it comes to studying wtf *nerd.  But my brain is super not wired for things like math, and technical and mechanical shit so I think I had to ask the engineers and our architect like a billion questions.  And I still think I don’t understand fully LOLOL but luckily our architect and designer is just super competent la so she led a lot of the technical portion.

I was damn scared our permits would take forever cos you know la government bodies in Malaysia. *looks sideways shiftily* but we got approved a few weeks ago!!! *bursts champagne bottle

We’re in the process of a contractors’ tender now and when that’s done, work will commence for real!

In the meantime, I’ve been working on the design of the space with our designer.

I had a couple of themes in mind already from the start but I kept going back to one particular one.  Which you will think is very cliched la when I tell you hahahaha.

Cos the theme is…. Colonial. Hahahahaha.

From the start, we’d decided that every Colony would have a different theme to it.  But all must have a commonality which is that each location must also uphold our basic principle of comfort and luxury.  I also wanted some continuity to all our locations so that while different, you can look at each so you will see some similar elements from the first Colony and Eco City!

So I chose the colonial theme because …. shit I can’t even remember now how I really thought of this concept wtf.  I was probably thinking along the lines of since Colony@KLCC was a blend of contemporary and traditional, which turned out damn beautiful if I may say so myself wtf, I wanted that same balance of old and new for Eco City.

And a Colonial theme would achieve my objective, I felt.  Plus it’s Colony la I have to do a Colonial theme hahahaha.

So I worked with our designers Katrine and Jason to try to turn our vision into a workable space.  The first draft they came back with I can’t find a picture but it was too…. colonial. O_O  It was nice and all but it looked like a copy of E&O in Penang or the Majestic. :X  Very nice but also very beige and brown hahaha.

It needed more character.  And it needed a twist of newness.

I loved the finishings…. so I asked if we could play around with more contemporary and fun colors to switch it up a little. I specifically asked for pink. Lolol.

The second draft also I cannot wtf.

But the third…..

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.

.

Behold!

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This is our reception area.  We experimented with different pinks but cannot la only this pink is acceptable!

The pink is the doors to the phone booths.

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Here’s the opposite side of the reception and lobby.

So when I was researching colonial, I found there’s mainly two kinds – American colonial and British colonial.  American throws back to when America first was colonized, I guess and to my noob eyes, looked rustic, primitive and old. Sorry American colonial lovers wtf.

I’d always been thinking of British colonial though.  Like our Modern Gentleman’s Club theme for Vipod which is a balance of traditional and new, I liked that British colonial is a juxtaposition of European and Asian elements.

Like the vintage trunks used as coffee table, which represents the time period as well as traveling to a new place. Metallic finish so it looks up to date. Dunno if we can find a metallic one though hahaha.

Reed rugs to bring in a more natural element, since the British seemed to really enjoy our local plants and incorporated a lot of those.

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I’m planning to bring in really big leafed plants for a tropical feel.

And I asked designer for more botanical prints and animal prints too!

The black and white checkered tile floor is a throwback to our first location. 🙂

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This is the coworking area.  Meeting rooms are behind the black grills on the left.

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Another view of reception.

We used the wooden shutters below the reception desk quite a lot in the design cos it’s reminiscent of prewar buildings in British bases like Penang, Malacca and Singapore!  But to update it, we’re painting them black.

But this is not the final draft hahaha.  I’m actually gonna remove some of the black shutters to make space for something else I want to add. 😀

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Meeting room!  Dark blue shutters to gel with first Colony.  But this room totally not finalized la, might look totally different from now wtf.

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A mock up for an office suite cos I told them I want more Safari/African elements lolol.  But office suites probably not gonna look like this either cos it may not be up to client’s preference so the animal pictures we’re gonna keep for common areas.

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Another mockup of an office. Also gonna shift the mural to common space wtf.

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What would Colony be without the kids’ play area? ^^  This one also not finalized but I want yellow in the room for sure.

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And our cafe area!

The other sections are blush pink and black, the cafe is mint green. 😀  Probably gonna remove the ceiling fan la cos white elephant when we already have air conditioning wtf.  Also going to change the square tables and the chairs cos I find them too heavy and install booth seating.

The cushions are not going to be porcelain print although I am planning to add more East Asian elements in too!

Ok thanks for reading wtf.  And here’s where I need to ask for you guys’ input.  We have furniture suppliers contacting us already but if you know any of the below, please let me know:

  1. good office chair supplier (ergonomic chairs please)
  2. plant solutions – artificial or real plants also can. I actually much prefer real plants but I don’t know what Imma do about maintenance so just hit me up with whatever!
  3. decor & accessories supplier – you know, knick knacks, rugs, fabrics whatever, that look like they’re from that time period.  European, Asian, Indian, African welcome. hehehe.

*cracks knuckles*

Thanks for reading!!